Happy New Year.

Well not really. But I have to make sure it will be better than last year. The New Year is only today anyway.

Tomorrow it's no longer new.

New Year.

44 Minutes till the January 1. It's a brand new year. A brand new start. A year where I can be the person that I can be.

But I'm dying inside. Please let me live again.

The year is only new on January 1. On the second it's old news. I will make my year better, despite and inspite of...

This is the second new year that I feel like I died.

Someday IS TODAY.

Someday by Nina

Someday you'll gonna realize
One day you'll see this through my eyes
But then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I can't

I know
You don't really see my worth
You think you're the last guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long

Chorus
Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday

Right now
I know you can tell
I'm down,and I'm not doin' well
But one day these tears
They will all run dry
I won't have to cry
Sweet goodbye

Chorus
Coz someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, I know someone's gonna be there
Someday, someone's gonna love me
The way, I want you to need me
Someday, someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you
Someday, someday

***
I am just loving this song right now. It sums up what I felt then and how feel now. How I longed for "someday" and finally it's right infront me. I wonder how long it has been standing there.

I admit I am plagued by some what ifs. What if he realized this when I was still in love with him? Those kinds of what if's. I finally told my mom that I spoke to him. She said "Move on. You don't have a future with him." It was a really superficial comment. I so know my mom. But in a ways yes, she is right. I just dont see the person that I saw in him before.

***
It's 5 days till the end of the year. I wonder what 2007 has in store for me...I'm excited! I've never been this excited since I enrolled in culinary school! WOOOOT! First on my to do list would be to find a job. Teehee.

One biatchin' Thank You!

As all of you who had been reading my friendster blog know, I got the idea of doing thank you's from Oprah. She writes five things she is thankful for everyday. It's the end of the year and I just want to be able to say my heartfelt thanks.

So THANK YOU (I praise God - because he gave me these blessings.) :
~ For a family who has always been there through it all, even if for most of it they just watched me stumble, make my own mistakes and learn valuable lessons. Not because they didn't want to help, it was because they wanted to help me. For all the support morally, financially, emotionally, for spending on Culinary School, for spending on my competetions, exams, and extras.

~ For my friends. TOPAC, I know it's not exactly how we pictured our friendship to be where it is right now, nevertheless, you're all friends of mine and I value our friendships. Thank you for being there, for listening and for taking the time to welcome me into your circle. Ella, AJ, Mark and Myles - my pex angels. Thank you for listening to my endless whines, cries for help, what have you. Farah - for always being there. Manel - for being there all these years, even with med school looming over you. HEHE Kevin - for all the times I called you and you were asleep, for patiently listening to me tell you the same story over and over again. Thank you.

~ For the heartaches, lessons and for allowing me to see the 2 sides of life. The good and the bad side. I learned valuable lessons first hand.

~ For those people who may have caused me pain, intentionally or unintentionally. I still thank you because I've finally become the person that I ought to be. I am finally ready for someone.

~ For that someone, for all the pain you endured, being my friend. Thank you for your patience, for your kindness, for everything that you said and didn't say. Thank you.

~ For a new hobby! For being able to learn it this time. It may take a little bit more time but it is never too late to learn something new.

~ For my Culinary school friends and classmates. Thank you for the lessons imparted while working together in the kitchen, for cooperating when I was EC, for allowing me the pleasure of your company for 1 year.

~ For the Chefs, for imparting knowledge, pushing us to do our best and for endless yells, preaching and several banged pans. Thank you for sharing what you know and for sharing your gifts to us.

If I forgot anything or anyone. Please don't take offense. It doesn't mean that I dont thank you and thank God for you. Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year!

The ghost of Christmas past.

This day is really interesting. Two people from the past spoke to me today. I feel like I am hunted down for a reason. It's like the universe is saying something, yelling "Achtung! Rica!"

And then a cliche past is past. It has no business in the present.

It's nearly the end.

Boy, 2006 is probably my best and worst year. It was a year full of lessons, oppurtunities and I must say that I will never be who I am today if it were not for everything that I learned and that happened to me this year. Grateful as I am I still cringe at the sight of myself the first quarter of the year. I still cringe when I remember how down I was. How people pitied me at my lowest, and how some of them helped me. Some lessons I learned:

~ Friends come in the most unexpected way. - There are people in my life now that I never really got the chance to get to know if it not had been for that great grief that I let myself wallow into for awhile. There are also people in my life whom I may not have known my whole life but also helped me become a better person by imparting lessons and listening to my endless whining.

~ Drugs doesn't solve anything. - Although it had been quite a euphoric experience, no I didn't try anything remotely over the top drugs, it was still a very bad habit. I stuck to weed, v and shrooms. And since that part of my life is over and done with then it's over.

~ Push yourself to be on top always. - Not because you want to be ahead of everyone else, or because you're competing with someone, but because you want to be able to push yourself to your limit. To see that you're good enough. Don't limit yourself, especiallu if presented with oppurtunities to blossom.

~ Just because someone treated you unfairly, it is not reason for you to treat him poorly as well. - Yes, think of karma. You're not earning good karma. Don't repay evil deeds with more evil ones. Because they will pay it forward. HEHE I will stop from being evil already. Swear.

~ Don't complicate your life. - Pray, do your best and God will do the rest. Don't always think that life is hard, unfair and complicated. Sometimes it is the choices we make that complicate our lives.

~ It's okay to set standards, to raise the bar. - You of all people would know what you deserve and what you don't deserve.

*I must try not to forget to write a thank you by the year ends. HEHE This is one bitchin' thanks!

Found this on yahoo.com

The Triple A's of a Great Relationship
Posted by Dr. Laura Berman on Tue, Dec 12, 2006, 4:51 pm PST

Couples can lose the spark for every reason under the sun. They get too busy with work or kids. They forget the little things, like kisses and small thank you's. Most relationship splits don't come down to a dramatic, life-shattering problem. Rather, it's the gradual slip of each partner's behavior that does it.

I've got an easy formula that will put some life back into any lukewarm relationship. I call it The
Three A's of Relationship Rescue:

The first ‘A' is for Appreciation. Both sexes benefit from getting back to the sweet adoration of early love. In those days it was effortless. You rocked each other's world without even trying to. Every gesture was met with the simplest of relationship life-preservers: gratitude. Ultimately, showing appreciation makes the other person feel seen and heard. You feel like you matter. In the workaday of chores, errands, bills and whose turn it is to take the dog out, appreciation can go right out the window. You're both so busy that you start to take what the other person is doing for granted. Take a step back and say ‘thank-you' more than you might. Think of something everyday that your partner did and thank him or her for it-even on the bad days! It will help you weather the storms of love. (I always, always appreciate! And appreciate being appreciated.)

The second ‘A' is for Attention. This one is more for the guys. Remember how much you used to court your partner in the beginning? Every date was an event. Every absence a tragedy. It helps to bring back some of that urgency and romance to what's going on now. If you haven't brought home flowers for no particular reason since the last Leap Year, please head directly to the florist. If you never call just to say I love you, pick up the phone. Women want to feel cared for and loved and cherished-and not just when you're trying to get sex or make something up to her. Little gestures of seduction, with no expectations, will go a long way towards reigniting her attraction to you. Why not plan to do something nice every week? The more a woman feels that her partner is tuning into her emotionally, by helping with the kids or the house or doing something sweet, the more apt she is to be sexual. Need any more reasons? (I just loooove attention! Hehe. Yeah screw me, I am an attention whore!)

The last ‘A' is for Appearance. Ladies, do you remember how much effort you put into your looks at the beginning of your relationship? I'll bet that a day at the ballgame got more effort than your anniversary does these days! Men are visual creatures. Your hair, your body, your appearance is what caught his interest in the first place. As I like to say, if you've let yourself go, your partner may still love you, but he's not going to lust you. And sorry, but kids and cooking dinner and all of that other stuff is not an excuse for looking disheveled on a regular basis. Your appearance needs to once again become a priority! In fact, when you keep yourself looking good on a daily basis, it becomes a habit. Don't reserve looking nice for a special occasion. It sends the message that you only care in a way that's strategic, designed to appease him rather than prioritize a fundamental part of his attraction to you. It will also make you feel better about yourself to stop making excuses. Eat right, put on a little mascara and lip gloss, and shave your legs more than once a week!And men don't get off the hook here. While the visual is not quite as important to women, generally speaking, no one wants a slovenly partner. Beer guts, untended nose hair, and clothing from the mid-90s are serious offenses! If you expect her to look good, please do the same. (Seriously, I am going on a diet!!!)

Ultimately, a healthy relationship is what's going to drive your passion for each other, which is what's going to rev the engine of a healthy relationship!

Artist's block or Is that writer's block?

Whatever you call it, I think I have it now.

I havent been able to take decent pictures recently.

We make life complicated.

My mom once told me "Life is simple. You pray, do your best and hope for the best. It is us who make it hard and complicated." She's right. I realized that I made myself miserable the past few days when it's so easy to be happy. I swear I laughed at this realization last night.

It's easy I just loop all my Backstreet Boys songs and it takes me back to the time where in buying the latest issue of Bop or Big Bopper was the only thing that mattered to me. Remebering those years brings back fond memories. I always wished that life were that simple. But life is still simple it is us who brings complications, depression and angst into our lives. Then we immediately blame "life" for being a bitch. And yes, I've done that loads of times.

I will now try to uncomplicate my life. I guess it's time I stop trying to get everything that I wanted. Because we all know that not everything you want is good for you. Instead, just count my blessings. And teach myself to be contented with what I have and can't have.

New year's resolutions:
1. Uncomplicate my life.
2. Go to church on sundays.
3. Lose weight.

Those look like doable resolutions, dont they?

Emotional torture.

I've long since vowed that I didn't want to feel this way anymore. It's hell. But I'm a woman. Women have that incessant need to feel everything. I have that incessant need to analyze everything. I ponder endlessly. What do you think I do before I sleep and before I get out of my bed, those moments before sleeping and when I wake up where I just stare at my ceiling? Which explains why I am almost always late.

I didn't get to sleep last night. I slept at around 9 PM but I woke up at around 12 AM, crying. I forgot why, I think I was dreaming. I can't remember my dream though. But I remember fighting the urge to cry the whole afternoon. I can barely breathe. I can hear my phone ringing, for a moment I actually hated hearing my ring tone. It meant that he was either texting me or calling me. And I wanted to shut him off just as he shut me off, but my good nature(?), or maybe pathetic nature got the best of me. And what's sucks more about this suckfest is that I can't tell anyone. Why? I didn't want to explain to anyone what was happening, because I wont know how to start.

It's hard for me to dismiss thoughts because I am emotionally attached to these thoughts. And I'm not an emotional alchemist. And I am trying my damn best convincing myself that nothing is wrong when it seems like every braincell I have is screaming that I have to get to the bottom of this. And it's emotionally draining me.

I tried to go back to sleep. I blogged to get all the rage out. But I couldn't sleep everytime I closed my eyes I felt tears rolling down my temple. So, I ended up watching Charmed dvd's. Gawd, it was a long night.

Patience is a virtue.

It seems that I always end up waiting. Either, waiting for someone to change, waiting for something to come my way, waiting for someone to make a decision about something so I can also make mine, or waiting for someone to show up. What's with the waiting game? Life is short and one shouldn't be waiting as much as I have.

I realize that I am made to wait because they know I will wait for them, it or whatever it is. But I'm tired of standing here at my post waiting for any of those things to come to me. Deep inside I know I have to do something about it already. Maybe it's time to move on already, see what else life has in store for me.

Or maybe it's time for my alone trip anywhere.

A phone call from an old friend.

I had spoken to my old friend, Nilo. I knew him from high school, we sang together in the school choir. He's an Architect now. He was actually encouraging me to still take the board exams. I reckon he doesn't want me to sell my architecture stuff. But what the hell am I supposed to do with it?

It feels good that someone actually believes I can do that licensure exams even if I myself don't believe in myself enough to actually start considering to take the exams. Is it the end of that dream? I wish him well.

I am thankful for friends like him. He didn't abandon me during my thesis days. Actually I had a lot of help during my thesis. Anyway, I am glad I returned his call.

Art materials.

I have fuckin' loads of art materials stowed away in boxes from back when I was still in Architecture. Dammit how do I get rid of them? AGH! Anyway if anyone is interested haller at me yah! Havent even used some of them.

Anyway, I am totally irritated at someone. A friend actually. AGH! Seriously, she has to work on her lying. I think she forgets it's me who she's talking to.

Needing and Loving.

I read these two words in one single message last night. It seems that when you love, you also need or when you need, you love. I'm not sure that this is the case all the time. Some can just love. Some just need. And some make that choice to love and need someone at the same time.

Needing someone. Does needing a person mean that you love that person? You need your subordinates at work? Does it mean you love them? Even that green eyed monster who is after your post? No, right? You just keep it civil with some of them because you need them. I admit I have friends I keep because I know that one day I am going to need that person for something. And vice versa.

Loving someone. Does loving a person mean that you need that person? Well there's that saying that says "Immature love is I love you because I need you, and mature love is I need you because I love you." Can you really just love without needing? It's human nature to need love. It's one aspect of life that all of us pines and longs after, taking for granted all the other people who love us. I think you can love without needing. I love my friends even if I didn't need them for something. Keeping that friendship doesn't mean that I only need them.

I learned that loving and needing is also a feeling that goes away, after sometime. You think you can't function with a person out of your life. But you're wrong, you still can. You don't need that person's presence to be successful. You just WANT him to be there, because you love him. There's a difference between really needing and wanting something or someone. Needing for me is a choice one has to make.

I believe that everything happens for a reason and everyone is in your life for a reason. Everyone that I keep in my life and everyone I turn away was my choice. It wasn't because I didn't need them or I didn't love them enough. Some may have even served their purpose, and that is to teach me something I'd find valuable.

Happy Feet.

Can you believe that my cousin treated us to see a movie? Oh well, I treated them to dinner and I spent more that he did. But it was fun hangin' out with them. We dont hang out much anymore. And since I havent got friends in our village, since we all got over each other, I usually hang out with Don and Martin.

The movie was funny, I was laughing for the most part. I can hear them laugh too. But Martin is annoying his phone kept ringing, it was fuckin' rude. >:|

It's December. I dont feel Christmas-y. All I know is, and all I am looking foward to is I'm seeing him before the year ends...he promised.

Christmas Wishlist.

It's December!!! I just wanna write what I want this christmas. I'm currently listening to All I Want For Christmas Is You. Made me think about what I wanted for christmas. In order of the odds I'd actually get them. HEHE

1. Only one person can do this for me. He knows what it is.
2. A job. A commis job.
3. Mazda 3 Hatchback
4. Sony Alpha 100w with 2 GB memory stick
5. Plane Tickets to Bora bora!
6. Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Culinary Encyclopedia and Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Desserts and Pastries
7. iPod video 80 GB
8. SE K800i
9. Paulo Coelho's The Zahir and The Devil And Miss Prym
10. Mitch Alboom's Book - For One More Day, Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet In Heaven
11. A slammin night out with mah girls!

Please Lord, I'd settle for Number 1 and Number 2!

Trust only the trustworthy.

When I was 16 I met a wonderful, well some were still wonderful to this day, bunch of people. There was Antonette, April and Nicee. We met at the silliest circumstance. April was my school mate who saw my clear book articles and pin-ups of the Backstreetboys sometime in 1997. We met Antonette and Nicee soon after. And we were inseparable. We'd go out together usually to "band-chase" or just well, hang out.

April, having met her asshole ex-boyfriend preferred him over us and so we let her. We let her make her mistakes and learn her lessons and boy did it take a while.

Nicee, we discovered was a liar. She probably didn't know what else to do with her life. I don't know what particular things she lied about but there were some ridiculous stories, such as:

- Her mom hates us because we don't go to the same church. - We met her mom, she was nice.
- She was sick with something really terrible. She said she has a brain tumor.
- She said she was in the hospital. - While talking to Antonette, her brother picked up the phone. Boy, that must've been some suite she was in. She had two phones!
- She was mugged. - Yet, she had money to take a cab to Tonet's place with her cellphone and jewelries still intact.

'Nuff said. I tried to be friends with her after I found out about those but I couldn't take it. There was a small voice in my had that screamed "She's lying!" every time she shared some story to me. So I told her, I didn't want to talk to her again and that she should stop calling me. I dont hate her for what she did, I just dont bother anymore.

My ex-boyfriend was also a pathological liar. And I was actually stupid enough to let some of those lies get right past even if there was a voice in my head that said other wise. When I realized this I was furious. At first I was mad at him for being a liar. But more importantly I was mad at myself, for listening to him, for still understanding him despite the lies and for making myself believe that he was telling the truth when the cold harsh fact that the truth was standing right across me ready to bitch slap me.

Trust. It's something that I readily give to someone, even someone I barely know. But it's not something that can be earned back. Especially if that trust that was broken was mine. My friends call me gullible loads of times. I'd believe anything people told me. I don't know if I had that much faith in people or that I am just a total naivete. But I know that I accept people for what the are, or what they show me. I'd believe and trust them to be telling the truth, not even thinking twice if it was indeed the truth. Yes, I am naive and gullible. I realize it is my disadvantage. Plus the fact that I can't say a lie straight faced.

But once I find out that the person was lying to me or that he lied to me or that he pretended to be something hes not, then I withdraw. I wont care for an explanation, if that little voice in my head screamed liar or dishonest. Then I stop caring. I wont waste anymore braincells.

I know harsh right? I admit I am not a saint. I have lied a couple of times successfully, to my parents of my whereabouts or what I was doing. White lies that I had to tell with my back to them or through the phone. Which I, by the way, would end up outing myself from sheer guilt of having told a lie.

And so I therefore conclude that I am fuckin' screwed. Agh!

More than 20 questions...

What time is it? 1:23 PM

LET’S GET DOWN TO THE BASICS

01. Name? Theodorica Angeles

02. Nickname? Rica, Rix,

03. Date of Birth?

04. Place of Birth? Quezon City

05. Height? 5'5"ish.

06. Hair Color? Black

07. Eye Color? Brown

08. Occupation? All-time bum. GRAAAH!

09. Brothers? Sisters? 2 cousins I consider siblings...Don and Martin

10. Living arrangement? Still with my folks.

FAVES
01. Hobbies? Recently taking pictures - point and shoot kind of thing, going on Charmed marathons - thanks for the dvds!, cooking, going to a bookstore to browse it's massive culinary titles, blogging, and whatever else idle minds think of.

02. Color? Blue, Green, Pink

03. Time of the Day? Early Morning - Like dawn, Late afternoons, great for taking pictures! Hehe

04. Day of the Week? Saturday

05. Holiday? CHRISTMAS!!!

06. Number? 8

07. TV Show/s? - Charmed, Sex And The City, One Tree Hill, The Hills, Barefoot Contessa, Tyler's Ultimate, Wolfgang Puck's Cooking Class, How Do I Look?, America's Next Top Model, Follow That Food, Unwrapped, Laguna Beach, Pimp My Ride, etc.

08. Movie/s? I have loads mostly chick flicks, Clueless, Little Women, Save The Last Dance, The Guardian, The Notebook, A Walk To Remember, eeek...I forgot those that I like hehe.

09. Movie quote? You make me wanna be a better man. - As Good As It Gets...bwahahahaha.

10. Actor/s? NO ONE IN PARTICULAR

11. Actress/es? NO ONE IN PARTICULAR ALSO

12. Music? I have loads its better to talk in genres I like mostly r n b, hip hop, mainstream pop, some alternative songs, oldies, recently into a bit of house, etc

13. CD/s? Really? That's why I have iTunes. Hahaha

14. Singer/s or Band/s? NO ONE IN PARTICULAR

15. Sport/s? I still wanna learn how to play Tennis. I like Badminton. Dammit I havent got a chance to play anything anymore!

16. Athlete/s? I'm not big on sports people. I just watch and don't bother who plays what. I remember I liked Shaq.

17. Team/s? NONE THAT I CAN THINK OF.

18. Book? Da Vinci Code, Angels and Demons, Harry Potter Series, Veronika Decides To Die, The Alchemist, The Fifth Mountain, Eleven Minutes, The Joy of Baking, Professional Cooking - Wayne Gisslen. My Best Life NOW! I wanna buy Alaine Ducasse's Encylopedia of Culinary Arts and Pastry Arts.

19. Author? Paulo Coelho

20. Magazine? COOK, FOOD, Cosmopolitan

21. Food? I dont want anything that screams western cooking right now. Had enough at school.

22. Drink? Starbucks' Caramel Affogato, White Chocolate Mocha and Caramel Java Chip, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf's Caramel Ice Blended, Mudslide, Phi Bar's Strawberry Caprioska. Sarsi, Sarsi Float.

23. Ice Cream? FIC's Strawberry, Nangkasuy, Vanilla, Chocnut, Magnolia's Banana Caramel Cake, Selecta's Double Dutch, Dreyer's Cookies and Cream, my own chocnut ice cream!

24. Chocolate or Candy Bar? Lindt Wafer Chocolate Bar.

25. Restaurant? No particular place. I like to try out different restaurants.

26. Fast food place? Good ol Mc Donald's.

27. Alcoholic drink? Phi Bar's Caprioska, Mudslide, Cosmopolitan

28. Hangout? Well...I dont frequent a particular place I get bored easily. If there's really one spot it'd be Starbucks.

29. Casual wear? Shirt, jeans and flipflops kinda girl.

30. Mall? Megamall, Greenhills, Glorietta, Podium, Shangrila, Rockwell

31. Flower? Yellow roses, daisies, mums

32. Swear word? Whatever comes out of my mouth.

33. Subject/s in school? Lets see...there's lecture and kitchen. I'd rather go with kitchen! HAHAHA. College? History of Architecture and Design.

34. Smells/scents? Green Tea, Light Blue, Be Delicious On guys: Hugo Boss - green one, Issey Miyake, Lucky

35. Thing about yourself? I love myself period!

MEMORY TEST
01. Memory you miss most? Grade school, college.

02. Biggest regret? Not writing to Pope John Paul sooner, opting to go for a degree in Architecture...

03. Ever cried in public? Yes.

04. Ever fallen asleep in a movie theater? No not yet.

05. Ever gone skinny-dipping? No.

06. Ever made prank calls? Yeah. It was how I met my besty Marjon. Haha

07. Ever skipped school? Yeah.

08. Ever been in a car crash? No thank God not yet.

09. Number of buddies on your online messenger? No idea.

10. Number of times you failed your driver’s license test? I passed the first time.

11. Nicest person you’ve met this year? Kevin, Ella, Myles, AJ, couch peeps, well technically my classmates in ISCAHM I met last year...

12. People you wish you never met? Well I used to wish I'd have never met Donald. But I did and I have learned countless lessons from that relationship. So in a way thanks.

13. People you wish to meet this year or soon? "The one" -- Okay fine, Kevin there is no such thing as the one! You make that person the one. I wish for wonderful colleagues who will teach me loads of things to perfect myself (whoa! perfect) as a commis and future executive chef. Naks.

14. Most embarrassing moment this year? Hmmm....well...there was being yelled at by Chef Mike for messing up his lasagna

15. Proudest moment? I got 3rd honors at my graduation from ISCAHM. Getting a gold medal in the competetion.

DO YOU…
01. Drive? What do you drive? Yes. Higlander SL 2000, I think. It's high time I drive something else!

02. Have a dream car? What is it? I have loads! 2007 Audi Q7, BMW X5, BMW series 1, Ford Mustang (2006), 2000 Viper RT-10, Mazda RX-8, 2006 Audi TT 180 Roadster FrontTrak, 2006 Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, 2006 Ford GT Coupe, 2006 Mitsubishi Montero, 2006 Volvo XC90, Dream right? A more attainable dream car would be a Mazda 3 Hatchback.

03. Smoke? Social smoker...

04. Have any pets? Yes. I love him. Diego!

05. Believe in angels? Yeah.

06. Believe in heaven & hell? Yeah.

07. Believe in God? YES!

08. Sleep with a stuffed animal? Nope.

09. Own one or two pillows? 2 pillows.

10. Have a tattoo? Think of getting one? Nope and yes! If I can bear the pain why the hell not! I already have a design!

11. Have piercings? Think of getting some? One on each ear.

12. Have friends who live in other countries? Yeah.

13. Eat breakfast? I try, or when I wake up early.

14. Get motion sickness? No not really.

15. Get along with your parents? Yeah.

16. Get along with your brothers/sisters? Yeah.

17. Want to get your hair dyed? No thanks.

18. Type with your fingers on the right keys? Nope.

19. Sing in the shower? What song? Yeah anything I fancy.

20. Believe in yourself? Yes!

LOVE or SOMETHING LIKE IT
01. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend? How many have you had? I had a couple...I wont start counting.

02. If you could go out with anyone in the world, who would it be? Brian Littrell!!! HAHAHAHA And my "Brian" Teehee.

03. What do you first notice about the opposite sex? Lips, sorry I'm a sucker for pouty lower lips.

04. Biggest turn-on? Intelligence, assertiveness and confidence.

05. Ideal girl/guy? Now I am very much idealistic. I'd want a guy who has principles, ambitions, God-fearing, a good provider, someone who can calm me down in those madly furious moments, someone who can purr to me just as my pet Diego does, an optimist, a dreamer who isn't afraid to go and get what they dream of, want or what they know they deserve. Someone who will respect me, my family, my principles, values and decisions. I can go on and on. I know God will provide me with him. HEHEHE

06. Do you picture yourself getting married? How soon will that be? Yes. I want to be. Someday. But I am already sort of planning my wedding hehe.

07. Want kids? How many? Yes. At least 3.

08. Future son’s name/s? Future daughter’s name/s? I wont tell...pero I have a couple of choices already.

09. Honeymoon (where)? Greece!!! Bora bora!!! Fiji!!! Paris!!! Venice!!! Carribean!!!! Meditteranean Cruise!!! Hehehe

10. Where will you live? Anywhere as long as I can get a job as Chef and as long as I am with mah man.

SERIOUSLY, NOW…
01. Who (or what kind of people) do you look up to or admire? - People who are passionate about life and what they do. Those who share their experiences and lessons and impart knowledge in a non-preachy sort of way. People who aren't afraid to be the best person they can be.

02. What is a hero? - Someone who is passionate about their beliefs, values, and principles.

03. 3 things you wish would happen to someone else? (1) That my family will be able to live a long and healthy life (2) That my friends will find a way to hear each other out and sort out their differences; (3) For my friends who are in pain, emotionally, physically and spiritually, that they may find peace and come into terms with themselves.

04. 3 things you would wanna do before dying? (1) Leave my mark on the culinary world (2) Make my dad see that I was right in choosing to leave architecture behind and start another dream where I am happier and more comfortable with. (3) Put up a foundation who will help children and elderly people.

05. Are you happy with your life? Yes very much so.

HOW SILLY AM I FOR ASKING THESE
01. Are you right-handed, left-handed, or ambidextrous? Right handed

02. What is printed on your mousepad? - Nothing. hehe

03. What is under your bed? Errr dust.

04. Place you want to visit but never have? Bora bora!

05. Single store you would choose to max your credit card? Dolce and Gabana! Shit this was hard!

06. What do you do when you are bored? Err suff.

07. What do you do when you are mad/angry/frustrated? I cry. I pray. I think.

08. Time you usually go to bed? 2 am ish

09. Time you are usually online? For how long, on average? - Varies.

10. Mood in the morning when you wake up? Still sleepy!

11. Are you an indoor or outdoor type of person? Depends on the weather. But I rather like outdoors.

12. What are your pet peeves? Bad grammar, bad diction, bad pronunciation, undercooked chicken, dirty restrooms, dirty white shorts.

13. What is your greatest fear? Failure, but I realized failures are oppurtunities to learn. So I guess not being able to give my family a good life is more appropriate.

14. If you had to kill someone, who would it be? The source of all evil. Osama Bin Laden! HAHAHAH. Thou shall not kill. So I wont.

15. If you have one nuclear bomb, what would you do with it? Surrender it to the authorities. They'd know how to disarm it.


What time is it now? 4:45 pm

Do you have something better to do than answer these questions? I do now! Popo just asked me to call! HAHA

Forgive and Forget.

I commented on my friend's blog about her still bothering to talk to her ex.

And she replied "HAHAHA. nah, i dont want to burn bridges kasi. why? coz 1, you dont know when you'll need these people (hehe).. and 2, if God can forgive all types of sinners, then who are we not to? di ba? but that's just how i think these days. "

Hmmm...so I thought. Is the reason why I refuse to talk to my ex, Donald, is because I haven't forgiven him for all the things that happened between us?

Gahd, that was exactly a year and a day ago from today. I admit it took me awhile to actually get a hold of myself. I realized I have long gotten over the heartbreak but blinded myself from the lessons and endless realizations that I saw after I told myself that, that was it. It's time to come off the trashy vibe and concentrate on myself, my dreams, my goals and not let anything stand in my way of achieving them.

I am happy now, contented with what I have achieved and have so far, and I'm going to make myelf a better and successful person that I can be. Relationship wise, I have had some of those what you might call minor inconveniences and I have long since gotten my act together.

So, have I forgiven Donald? Am I ready to forget it?

Answer? *pauses to look at the deepest recesses of my heart and soul*

Yes. I have forgiven him. I have forgotten the pain and I have learned from that experience.

It is only because I couldn't trust him anymore and I lost respect for him, and its the reason why I don't want to bother talking to him or establishing ties. I mean really how do you trust someone whose lied to you so many times? He's just like my ex-friend Nicee. They belong to the same category now, the learn from these people, ignore them and forget you were even friends with them category.

Sorry. It's just me.

I would be a good photographer. BOW.

So I guess I am now worthy of a Sony Alpha DSLR- A100W. Wooooot wooooot.

I was with Kevin, Manel and a friend of Manel's, Chris last night at Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf at Greenbelt. Kevin, thanks for dinner. That was fun! I decided to show off my pictures to Manel. The ones I took last Friday at Mall Of Asia, Boardwalk. I got good reviews from Kevin, early on. Teehee. I get so giggly when someone gives nice comments on my pictures. And she showed it to Chris. HEHE He said they were nice. Woooooot!

Actually he said in a text message to Manel. "She'll make a good photographer." Wooot.

Yesterday was fun, tiring though drove to almost half the town. Kinda wanted to forget that Popo is in Subic, and left me here in Manila. ARGH! Didn't get fireworks shots although, I got my own tripod. Wooot. I can't wait to do fireworks shots next week! Wooot!

Excited!