They're The Same Lot.

Well it seems I keep ending up with the same sort of people. Hopefully when I leave, Im also getting rid of some of them.

*karate chop*

It's a good thing, I have an idea of what's out there, what I can do, and where I can go where I wont be with such disgusting company.

*shwing* There goes my adamantium claws. HAHA

Disclaimer: If you think I am referring to you, then maybe I am. If you know I am referring to you, then I definitely am.

Birthday Wishlist.

Well, since it's already September and it's nearing my birthday, I would like to post a wishlist, more like wishful thinking list. I'm bored. HEHE

- A picnic with my baby at the beach! :)

- Krispy Kreme Karamel Krunch (I would blow my daily calorie counter for this.)

- Leche flan (I would distribute the calories to at most 2 weeks. HAHA)

- Tempura maki (I still haven't got my fill! HAHA)

- A doggie. (Pweaaasseee!!! I still love my baby diego, though!)

- A visit to a jacuzzi, or hot springs! HAHA

- Crispy pataaaa!

- Fresh Philippine mangoes! (I can make mango crepe! wee!)

- Luisa and Son's empanaditas!!!

- Jolly Chicken Joy and Spaghetti Meal

- Turon with Langka

- Banana Q

- Max's Fried Chicken chicken! Nyahehehe

- Cheesecake @ Cheesecake Factory!

- Beard Papa's!!!

- Holga ($32.00 @ Urban Outfitters!)

- Fishballs with the brown sauce ha!

- Guinataang Halo-halo

- Palitaw

- Yemaaaaa!!! *the leche flan would suffice though!

- Sisig!!!

- Mrs. May's Cashew Crunch (I can't find it anywhere!!!!)

- Grilled Milkfish (Inihaw na Bangus)

- Butterflied Milkfish marinated in garlic and vinegar (Daing na Bangus)

- Ube Pastillas and the regular pastillas

(Shet, lahat pampataba! Sorry I'm craving!) See? I told yah, it's more wishful thinking list!

Stuck.

Im stuck here till October 8. But its okay. I'll get out of here as soon as October 8 hits, and I'm never going to think about this place again! Not if I can help it.

Hargh.

Currently Listening To...

Can I Go Now?

- Jennifer Love Hewitt

What's the point of trying to meet you in the middle
You got your point of view
There's nothing I can do
Can't change your mind
Can't leave it all behind
You're living in the past
We talk and talk
This goes on for hours
About how I should be
Why is it all me
Don't wanna fight
Don't wanna waste my time
Baby just can't last
I'm moving on, moving on

[Chorus:]
Can I go now
Say what you have to say
Happy you've got your way
There's nothing to discuss
Can I go now
Giving your point of view
Say what you want it too
So what's the point of love
Can I go now
Oh say what you have to say
Happy you've got your way
What's there to discuss

What's the point of trying to reach compromise
When you're the judge and jury
What's the story
I can't make you see that I'm not always wrong
I can't make you right
It's time to move on
I'm moving on

[Chorus]

Let's go lead a day I'll pack my bags be on my way
Sure don't needs to stay
Where I'm not welcome anyway
Well now that's alright and that's OK yeah

There's nothing left to do
Maybe I'm not for you
So why don't you let it go

Tell me what's the point of all this
Talk, talk, talk, talk
We could go day and night
Still wouldn't make it right

Can I go now
Say what you have to say
Happy you've got your way
There's nothing to discuss
Can I go now
You're giving your point of view
Say what you want it too
So what's the point of love
Can I go now
I'll be on my way
Let's call it a day
Can I go now?
Now, why don't you let it go
Can I go now?

Butterfly

- Mariah Carey

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears
inside
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

Verse

I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

Bridge

I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way
it feels to fly

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

Chorus

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

I Hope This Helps...

Me, most espescially. I wish I had read this before...all this.

----

Breaking Through the Sound Barrier

by Rick Warren

In our Devotionals series, Pastor Rick Warren discusses the Bible passages that inspire him the most. Today's Devotional is based on this passage:

"Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).

To really communicate, you must give up three things:

1. You must give up your assumptions. We get into trouble when we start assuming we understand the meaning of what people say to us. The truth is everything you hear goes through a filter. Your filter is determined by your past experiences and your unique personality. You may not be hearing what they are really saying. Therefore, it is smart (and safe) to ask for clarification: "Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).

2. You must give up your accusations. You never get your point across by being cross. Anger and sarcasm only make people defensive and that kills communication. There are four common forms of accusation:

• Exaggerating, such as making sweeping generalities like "You never," or "You always."

• Labeling, such as derogatory name-calling. Labeling never changes anyone. It only reinforces the negative behavior.

• Playing historian, such as bringing up past failures, mistakes, and broken promises.

• Asking loaded questions, ones that really can't be answered, such as, "Can't you do anything right?"

The Bible says, "Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you" (Ephesians 4:29 TEV).

3. You must give up your apprehensions. Fear prevents honest communication. It causes us to conceal our true feelings and fail to confront the real issues. The two most common apprehensions are: the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. But when you face your fear and risk being honest, then real communication can happen. Freedom is the result of openness. Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32 TEV).

A Countdown Ensues.

So, I've just started a countdown to the days I have to stay here. As of date, I have 45 days to go before I can go to LA and visit my fiance and the city. And after a week, I'm off to Florida. I am hoping that it's a little bit better than here. It's not bad here at all, but I've had enough! Anyway, I am really looking forward to moving. It is much farther than LA, but I am hoping that there's more to do, and better people for company.

I am also praying that my fiance will get to go with me. We really wanna go to Alaska for summer. So, keeping my fingers crossed!

I AM SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOOOREEEDDDD!!!

Fighting Loneliness.

I still have 2 and a half months here in the Colorado Rockies. Forgive me but for the likes of me, there is nothing to do here. Sure, the cliff dwellings were awesome, the petroglyphs are an experience and the surroundings are perfect, picturesque even, but I've been here for nearly 3 months and I'm over it. I will always remember the things I saw and learned, joining the tours, talking to locals but I am ready to move on.

It's lonely out here! Sometimes, I wanna jump off one of the cliffs already! I don't have a car, I solely rely on the shuttle to get me to the HR office or Post Office in the property and the town shuttle to go to town to buy groceries. On occasion there are activities, a trip to the casino, a tour of a cliff dwelling thats not part of the regular tour, river rafting (which was rather too early in the season when they decided to do it), there will be a Farmington run (which I will not join) and others. If I had a car I'd probably enjoy it more, I can drive to Durango and spend an afternoon taking pictures of the historic town and the train. I can eat at Sushitarian. I can drive to the park and sit there and watch the ducks and prairie dogs watch out for each other (it's rather funny!)or just nap under the trees.

My only relief from all all of this is after work, after a long day, I trudge to the dorms. I go to my room, open my laptop and I have a few messages waiting for me from my fiance. And we'd talk or fight or just talk. If the internet connection was better we'd be on webcam and I'd just watch him make silly faces, furrow his eyebrows about something, smile at something, argue with his mom or dad and sometimes, he'd watch me back.

So, Im just ready to get out of here. I'm ready to see a new place, meet new people, and discover new places for solitude.

Contentment.

It's so hard to be contented. When someone gets what they want, you think they can just start to kickback, relax and be happy. But no. I think it's human nature for us to then want something more.

A business man who only wanted to put up his own business will now want to put up an expansion. And then when he's finally put up an expansion, he will want to have his business be so sucessful that people will want to franchise...etc.

It's the same case with me. At first I only wanted to be able to come back here in the US. It didn't matter to me which state I will go. What was important was that I was closer to the person I love most. And then when I came here to Colorado, I wanted to see him. I wanted to be with him. And to make things worse, I wanted it NOW. And now I was just with him. We spent his birthday together. We did all the things we wanted to do, like eat at Denny's (again), watch a movie and travel. But now, he's on his way home. Now, I do not want him to leave. I wish, we can stay here together or I can go with him.

Being with him is like a natural sugar high. And now that he's leaving for home, I am crashing down...

When You Say Nothing At All

Bubu, reminds me of what we were talking about last night! I love you!

------

It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Child Sponsorship.

I have wanted to do this for awhile. But I keep hesitating. I kept saying, next time. And then I forget all about it. One fine Sunday, at church, a visiting priest spoke about sponsorships thru their organization. I listened. And I decided, I have to do this now, or else I wont be able to do this at all.

I picked a folder out. I read what was inside and put it back. I picked another one and read it and then put it back again. I picked a boy named Zal, eventually. He lives in Zamboanga in the Philippines. I chose someone from my home country simply because I know what poverty there is like.

I got my first newsletter today and I held back tears as I read the stories they shared about being a sponsor. I hope that I can keep sponsoring Zal and wont have to stop for financial reasons. I am happy that I finally did this.

If anyone is interested please contact: www.cfcausa.org Now I hope I remember to buy a postcard for him tomorrow! :)

Christian Rey Guilles. :)

I am talking to someone lately. And I want to help her. I want to help her move on from the misery she is feeling. I want her to know that there's hope somewhere. Reading her messages everyday though, makes me see how incredibly lucky I am. That I was able to break free, that I had the perfect reason to wanna be free from that past.

Rey - the love of my life, my soul mate, my forever, my Prince in his armor. He saved me from further self destruction. He saved me from myself. And he saved me from him. He showed me that whatever I had before was not love. That what WE had is what Love is all about.

He showed me why, it never worked out with anyone else.

How Is My Wish List?

This is my wishlist in 2008 for 2009. I wanna know how far I am from it. It's June and it's half the year. It is arranged in the order of the chances I will actually get it!


1. Rey. :P I am so happy!
2. One way ticket to LAX, for tomorrow. HAHA Well, it ain't LAX but beggars can't be choosers!
3. A job, again. HAHA
4. A new visa! HAHA Woooo!
5. A Mazdaspeed 3 Hatchback.
6. Plane tickets for two to Bora Bora!
7. A Mac Book Pro.
8. An iPhone.
9. AF Nikkor 14mm f/2.8D ED
10. Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Culinary Encyclopedia and Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Desserts and Pastries.

Not bad huh?!

Weee!!!

Missing my baby so badly.

Wanna see him already...

:(

:'(

:'''''''''(

The Prince.

I always thought that a Prince will be someone who is dashingly handsome.  And all the girls in the world will envy me because he chose me to be his princess.  He will come to me in a great white horse to save me from the foul creature that kept me from loving him. And after my Prince has slain the creature he will carry me on his horse, we will get married and live happily ever after.

But he’s not all of those things. My Prince is not only handsome outside but also inside. His heart is pure and full of love for me and all the people he cares about. He’s not your typical Prince who has a huge castle with plenty of gold and gems to offer me. He’s the kind of Prince who cares about others too much, and cares so little about himself. He is not the Prince who only serves to woo women and make them gush. He’s the Prince, who respects them and doesn’t play with their hearts.

Prince didn’t blow me away with his electrifying presence, but swept me away with his kind heart and thoughtfulness. My Prince showed me how to truly fall in love and stay in love. He showed me what real love is all about, a love that would last more than years, more than decades or even centuries.

I always protected myself from pain so I can keep my heart whole for him. But I found out that I was only whole when I was with him. When we are apart my soul languishes in agony for being without its other half. But endlessly hopes until the day that they are together again. He is not the Prince who plays but the one who prays, not only for me but for everyone he loves.

He’s the Prince who smiles when I smile and cries when I cry. He lifts me up when I’m down. And without an ounce of pride, lets me lift him up too. He hears out all my whines patiently and explains to me the reasons for such. He teaches the spoiled little girl in me, how to be grown up. He allows me to be his partner, the Ms. Hyde to his Dr. Jekyll, Lois Lane to his Clark Kent, Cher to his Sonny and the Batman to his Robin (HAHA). Partners, like husbands and wives. He’s the Prince who selflessly gives himself to me, and only me. He has attended to all my needs, and at times to my caprices.

He showed me a future at his side. Which place I never want to leave behind.  A little prologue to heaven, a future we both share and dream about. He’s the Prince I’ve been waiting for. He’s the one I wrote to once, and is writing to again. He’s the Prince I loved when I didn’t know him. And now that I do, there’s nothing else to do but…love him more.

So, How Am I?

I've been good. Really good!

Well, I wish I could get more hours at work.

I wish I could go to LA to be with my baby.

I wish his ex would disappear off the face of the planet.

But other than that, I'm really good!

I miss my friends. They're really the people I miss when I'm out of the country. Simply because it's really not the same here.

But I love my baby. So that's okay. Haha I will just keep missing them.

Trivia.

Mesa Verde's Cliff Dwellings is in the 1,000 Places To See Before You Die book!!!

That means only one thing...I have only 999 places to see before I die!

Weee!

I should buy that book.

Almost a month here in Colorado. I have seen the Cliff Dwellings, it's amazing! I still have to post pics but the internet is really bad. So, maybe next time. I'm enjoying myself here, I don't spend too much because I'm 40 miles from the nearest Wal-mart and there are only specific times that the bus takes us to go shopping.

I still cannot believe that I am fortunate enough to be able to return here. I thought it was going to be awhile. I still think about Amanpulo from time to time. But, I think I'm good here.

In keeping with tradition, I have been ignoring two people now. HAHA Which is kinda good, compared to the entire Filipino population I completely ignored back in Arizona. Well, except maybe like 4 or 5 people. It's not that I look down on them, it's just I didn't want to be part of it.

It's nice here where I am. Im waiting for a bear sighting, and hopefully I'd survive it. HEHE I've seen reindeers, cayotes, wild horses, different kinds of birds and different kinds of insects (which I wish I didn't have to see!)

I missed this. I'm waiting for my dvd's to come!

R and R: To Do List (Extended Version)

Adding to my fiance's list!

(Well, it's really the things I wanna do with him. I don't see any other person I'd enjoy it with.)

- Get married! On the date we set, with no delays.

- Watch fireworks, just the two of us.

- Backpack in Europe.

- Go on the London Eye Ferris Wheel.

- Go to Rio De Janeiro during the Carnavale!

- Have our honeymoon in Bora Bora Islands.

- Stargaze in Orleans, MA ( Nauset Knoll Lodge!)

- Go on a cross country trip in the US.

- Go to Batanes!

- Vacation in Cancun!!!

- Go to Turkey!!! Constantinople here we come!

- Visit Four Corners Monument.

There's too many things I wanna do with him!!! :)