Things To Look Forward To In 2009.

There are a few of things I am looking forward to in 2009. And I must say that I am anxiously excited for the year to come! :D

- The opening of La Cuisine Francaise branch!

- Setting up the business with my fiance.

- Spending some real "together" time with my fiance.

- Getting more into my art. No matter how busy I got. HAHA *crosses fingers*

- Our plans. HEHE Don't want to say too much here. HEHE

So there, here are some of the things that's on top of my head! :D I can't wait!

2008 Was Great Afterall.

Well, this has been a year of wonderful suprises! And even with all the tears I shed, I am ending the year with one big smile on my face. And I guess you know who, why and what the reason is. HAHA. So in review...

Christmas Eve.

So uneventful. I think I should've stayed at work a bit longer. But I really wanted to talk to my fiance. We haven't been talking as much since I started to work. And if this goes as planned then our whole set up will change too. We'll have less time to spend on the phone.

I wanted to ask him not to drive later (his time). I wont be working tomorrow (my time) so I have that "old" time in the morning after his work. Well I actually tried to ask already but he seemed to really wanna get out and drive around. Usually when he wants to spend time with me, it's like a no-brainer, I come first. But oh well. I will be with my future boss on the 26th (my time) and I don't know what time I will be going home.

I just wanted to spend time with him while I still can...

Pissed.

My morning or should I say noon started out way off. I don't know if it still has anything to do with my disappointing nightcap. I was so happy yesterday, I was practically bouncing off the walls. Argh. I have no idea what the fuck I am doing here.

I miss LA. I miss pastrami subs and minestrone from Giamela's nights. I miss hanging out at BOFA. I miss getting surprise 5 minute-ers from my boyfriend, now fiance. I miss wheat bagels with low fat cream cheese. I miss quarterback crunch at Baskin'. I miss Nordstroms and Costco. I miss papap sessions with Beenie and Keeta. I miss Atwater Village farmer's market after church and eating pupusas after buying apple pie. I miss Fr. Harrigan!!! I miss Angeles Crest. I want another hotdog from Pinks. I miss Target. I miss Nauset Beach. I miss Skaket Beach. I miss sitting on my favorite bench at the Window to the Cove Park. I actually miss biking back to Jackie's house. I miss online shopping at Amazon.

Most importantly, I miss him. We're slowly getting used to the distance, I think. I hate this feeling. I'm slowly adjusting to the life back here. Slowly getting used to being alone. Slowly getting used to not having anyone at my side, again. I know it's absurd, what we had together was short. It wasn't enough to even be thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. But I don't know, I couldn't just shake it off. It's like I ate something that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Ugh. I seriously need to get a brand new perspective on some things. I need to go to my secret place!

grainy views
unclear lines
cracked voices
dead reception

quiet longing
silent whispers
I LOVE YOU.
distance embraced

come to me
i need you now
yearning for your smile
I MISS YOU.

miles stretched
across mountains and seas
close the gap
and never let go.

Family Ties.

My fiance hung out with my fave aunt. Wait, what am I talking about she's my only aunt! I'm soooo happy that he hung out with her. Even if it took him forever to get home. My aunt's always been fun and she has fun friends.

Its's fun to know he's slowly inching his way into my family. Although, I'm not really making an effort to inch into his. Ack. But I really should start. But I'm kinda shy to do it. I feel like such an outsider. Argh. I just have this feeling that his family might snub me or something. His mom is great though. And his dad. His mom is also a UST Alumni, she told me so when we talked. But I also heard her when she's mad. She called his ex, desperate. I don't blame her though, I would too if I woke up in the dead of the night because of a phone call.

But I am really excited because my family's never really liked anyone I dated before. I hope they can meet him soon! I'm sure they'll understand why I love him. I cannot be any happier right now.

What's New?

Gosh, it's almost a turn of another year! 2009. I have a year and one month before I get married. (We have an actual date already! And I already have everything else put down, it's just a matter of organizing. ;P) HAHA I have soooo many things to do! First on my list is, get my Chef job. Ayiyiyiyiyiiii!!! HAHA Should I go corporate? HAHA. So many choices! I cannot believe how they are all under my impatient nose right now!

So, many things have happened. People have come and gone. Feelings have climaxed and then died down. I have some rather new people in my life which company's I'm enjoying. I "recalled" an old friend. I went away from home for a whole year and got to feel "independence". And then I came home. Blech. And now I am back here living with my parents. Double blech. I WANT MY OWN PLACE!!! Aaaaghhh!

(From my besty -- when I told her I'm getting married: "Nako, you're always getting married! Maniniwala lang ako pag na-plan na lahat!") I just had to put this here. She's hilarious!

So there, I am looking forward to several job interviews! I am sooo excited! Also, I have a new niece!!! I am also excited about her! My nephews are now 3 years old!? Can you believe it? HAHA So I am the last DV kid to have a kid of my own. Hargh!

I wonder what 2009 has in store for me!!! I am sooo excited!

Year Ender.

Whoa. In 1999, I thought I had the funnest party ever, after attending my besty's 18th birthday! NOT! We've had a few more fun party's -- Magic 89.9 chatroom's christmas party, Antonette's surprise party, our barkada's Christmas party (I miss black cuz and kuya rod!), a couple more barkada Christmas parties - each year seeing new faces, some have moved on -- nonetheless we still had fun, Jenny's despidia, and last tuesday's surprise party for Clem and also Lilystar's Christmas party!

We missed a few old friends, as usual, some have "moved on". While some just moved away. There were some that I only met that day. There were some I've known for a few years. But I must say even if I spent a good hour or two on the internet with my boyfriend, I HAD FUN!!!!!!

I think the only thing that tops this is when I celebrated my birthday at Disney. HEHE I wonder how we'll be celebrating the New Year?!

B-Side.

A part of me I never knew. Last night I was reading his blog archives. You see, I am trying to find answers to the endless questions in my head. To bring peace to my heart and the inner monologues. The whispers, the hushes, the silent screams...are deafening. But I was also reading MY own archives. Trying to re-learn old lessons that I might've forgotten.

I realized as I was doing this, as I clicked on another page of older posts of his blog, that I am jealous. Jealous of people from his past that I didn't know. I wasn't even in his life then. I had no right to be. But still, I can't help that growing gnaw in my heart...until I came to his first post.

I have never been like this. Yes, I have always been curious of a loved one's past. For the simple reason that I want to understand him better. Or maybe give me a head's up. But to be jealous of it. To be envious that I wasn't that person that he referred to then...never. I was never that kind of a person. Until last night.

I need to look for the real me. I hope she hasn't gotten that far.

New Year's Resolutions And Thank Yous For The Year.

It's that time of the year! Since it's December, I deem it necessary to write some things down. So to start off, my new year's resolution for next year.

1. Lose/Maintain my weight.
2. Make myself more productive.
3. Simplify my life.
4. Church on Sundays.
5. Confession when necessary.

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And for Thank You's:

My family, for never failing to be there.

My friends (I don't need to name drop), I know at some point we didn't talk much the past year. The year was rough for me, and I am eternally grateful for the time that you took to talk to me whenever I needed someone.

To you, R! Thank you for everythng. For letting me have the best time of my life during the rest of my stay. For loving me. For nursing me back from the shit I was in. I love you. And I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you, hopefully.

To my bosses - you've been great thanks for taking the chance on me.

To my roommates, Ate Sandra and Ate Belen. Meanies, always! :) Miss you.

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And the highlights of my year:

Found a great guy to love! (Il mio amore più grande!)

Had great oppurtunities!

Went to loads of places! Los Angeles, CA (Finally went to DISNEYLAND!!!) - Las Vegas, NV - Sedona, AZ - Flagstaff, AZ (Grand Canyon!!! Super experience!) - Phoenix, AZ - New York, NY - Orleans, MA - Hyannis, MA - Nantucket, MA (Loooove this place!) - Chatham, MA - Boston, MA

Gambled in Vegas.

Walked on The Strip, tipsy!

Flirted with someone at the bar. (Well I knew him a little bit...HAHA)

Travelled alone.

Embraced being alone.

Shopped till I drop.

Got a Nikon D90!!!