Pissed.

My morning or should I say noon started out way off. I don't know if it still has anything to do with my disappointing nightcap. I was so happy yesterday, I was practically bouncing off the walls. Argh. I have no idea what the fuck I am doing here.

I miss LA. I miss pastrami subs and minestrone from Giamela's nights. I miss hanging out at BOFA. I miss getting surprise 5 minute-ers from my boyfriend, now fiance. I miss wheat bagels with low fat cream cheese. I miss quarterback crunch at Baskin'. I miss Nordstroms and Costco. I miss papap sessions with Beenie and Keeta. I miss Atwater Village farmer's market after church and eating pupusas after buying apple pie. I miss Fr. Harrigan!!! I miss Angeles Crest. I want another hotdog from Pinks. I miss Target. I miss Nauset Beach. I miss Skaket Beach. I miss sitting on my favorite bench at the Window to the Cove Park. I actually miss biking back to Jackie's house. I miss online shopping at Amazon.

Most importantly, I miss him. We're slowly getting used to the distance, I think. I hate this feeling. I'm slowly adjusting to the life back here. Slowly getting used to being alone. Slowly getting used to not having anyone at my side, again. I know it's absurd, what we had together was short. It wasn't enough to even be thinking about the things that I have been thinking about. But I don't know, I couldn't just shake it off. It's like I ate something that left a bad taste in my mouth.

Ugh. I seriously need to get a brand new perspective on some things. I need to go to my secret place!