Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Fighting Loneliness.

I still have 2 and a half months here in the Colorado Rockies. Forgive me but for the likes of me, there is nothing to do here. Sure, the cliff dwellings were awesome, the petroglyphs are an experience and the surroundings are perfect, picturesque even, but I've been here for nearly 3 months and I'm over it. I will always remember the things I saw and learned, joining the tours, talking to locals but I am ready to move on.

It's lonely out here! Sometimes, I wanna jump off one of the cliffs already! I don't have a car, I solely rely on the shuttle to get me to the HR office or Post Office in the property and the town shuttle to go to town to buy groceries. On occasion there are activities, a trip to the casino, a tour of a cliff dwelling thats not part of the regular tour, river rafting (which was rather too early in the season when they decided to do it), there will be a Farmington run (which I will not join) and others. If I had a car I'd probably enjoy it more, I can drive to Durango and spend an afternoon taking pictures of the historic town and the train. I can eat at Sushitarian. I can drive to the park and sit there and watch the ducks and prairie dogs watch out for each other (it's rather funny!)or just nap under the trees.

My only relief from all all of this is after work, after a long day, I trudge to the dorms. I go to my room, open my laptop and I have a few messages waiting for me from my fiance. And we'd talk or fight or just talk. If the internet connection was better we'd be on webcam and I'd just watch him make silly faces, furrow his eyebrows about something, smile at something, argue with his mom or dad and sometimes, he'd watch me back.

So, Im just ready to get out of here. I'm ready to see a new place, meet new people, and discover new places for solitude.

Monday, July 13, 2009


It's so hard to be contented. When someone gets what they want, you think they can just start to kickback, relax and be happy. But no. I think it's human nature for us to then want something more.

A business man who only wanted to put up his own business will now want to put up an expansion. And then when he's finally put up an expansion, he will want to have his business be so sucessful that people will want to franchise...etc.

It's the same case with me. At first I only wanted to be able to come back here in the US. It didn't matter to me which state I will go. What was important was that I was closer to the person I love most. And then when I came here to Colorado, I wanted to see him. I wanted to be with him. And to make things worse, I wanted it NOW. And now I was just with him. We spent his birthday together. We did all the things we wanted to do, like eat at Denny's (again), watch a movie and travel. But now, he's on his way home. Now, I do not want him to leave. I wish, we can stay here together or I can go with him.

Being with him is like a natural sugar high. And now that he's leaving for home, I am crashing down...