Sunday, December 27, 2009

New Project.

I have a project. It's about finding love, keeping it, celebrating it and living it. I know it seems kind of off to be starting a project so late into the year. But I am so excited for this project that I already wanted it to start. I can't wait for the dawn of the New Year. It was just too long a wait! So wish me luck!

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
See I have already forgotten this. That is why I have not been patient, nor kind. I have become proud and jealous. I was rude, and self centered. I did not protect, I destroyed. So starting today, I want to re-learn this. Keep it in my heart, like I used to.

If he cannot give me something to hold on to. If he cannot encourage me to fight for him while he rests, then I will start holding on to these words. In them I will find solace. In this promise, I will find my answers. It will guide me to finding love.

Pray for me. Today is Day 1. :)

Scanning contacts...

Ate Sandy...calling...


That's it.

I miss my friends.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

icy glares

emotionless words
hardened heart

tear-stained cheeks
sorrowful sighs
broken heart

another day
another dream
another goodbye

Monday, December 21, 2009

2009 In Photos.

So, see you next year? :D

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Isn't amazing when you ask or want something and it actually happens for you almost instantaneously?

I hope everything happens already too. >_<

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Girls Night Out.

It's been awhile since I had a girl's night out. Actually, it's been awhile since I dressed up and went out to a club with good music, danced and had some drinks with friends. And while I was on the dance floor with my roomies, I remember why I stopped doing it. HAHA

I'm not saying I didn't miss it. I did, for a bit. But then I saw couples dancing together and I miss my Bubu more, because I wish I was dancing with him instead. And then I don't like guys or girls, bumping into me too much. And I don't like guys who jump into my group and just starts dancing with us. But my roomies, enjoy it and I wanted to go out tonight because I was cooped up in this apartment the whole afternoon. Beggars can't be choosers.

A funny thing happened though, something that has never happened to me in all of the years I spent going out almost every night. Some guy, plucked me out of the dance floor and told me I was cute. It was funny and weird at the same time. It was a good thing it wasn't like he was trying to pick me up. I think he is gay. We saw each other after the dancing out the deck and I just avoided him.

Well, that was my night out. It will be awhile before I get any again. :P

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

My plans are all fading in the background...

Random Thoughts!

Don't you just hate it when you start getting used to certain things and you have to give it up?

I want a mandolin slicer!

Can't wait for my day off!

I need an offset bread knife!

Saturday, December 05, 2009

Christmas Wishlist 2009

Once again it's December. And it's my fave time of year to post my wishlist!

1. Rey =) (For all our plans to fall into place.)
2. 370 Z Fairlady HEHE
3. Mini Cooper S - Pink with white stripes.
4. Grand Livre De Cuisine by Alain Ducasse (all volumes, there are 4 I believe.)
5. A good, stable job for both of us.
6. Win the Lottery (HEHE)
7. To be able to go back to school -- The French Culinary Institute.
8. A macro lens. (have not decided which one yet.)
9. A wide angle lens. (have not decided which one yet.)
10. Nikon D3x body kit. (WAHEHE)


Here is the over the counter version HAHA:

1. Liver spread. (I want to cook Menudo!)
2. Datu Puti Soy Sauce.
3. Datu Puti Vinegar.
4. Jufran Ketchup.
5. Coconut milk.
7. Bagoong - mild.
8. Tinapang Bangus.
9. Daing na Bangus.
10. Rellenong Bangus.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Why am I always the one making sacrifices?


Saturday, November 21, 2009

Sunshine State And Then It Clouded Over...

I've been enjoying myself here in Florida. I love the weather, so far! The town where I live is a bit far from the big cities (Miami and Orlando) but it's okay. I would love a public bus though! But anyway, so far so good. Work is fun, except for a one person who thinks he's all that because he came from one of the premier culinary schools here in the US. But I really believe that a student is what makes that school "look" good, it maybe the best, because they have produced students who worked hard to become one of the best. It doesn't mean that everyone there will come out good, especially if he doesn't have the right attitude.

With all that said, I would like to say, that he sucked. HAHA. But that's for another blog. HAHA I have met some really cool people here. I still keep in touch with several cool people from Colorado. I miss my baby heaps, though!

I also miss my friends. I was talking to one of my closest (and one of the best) friends, and I learned that he wasn't doing great. And I just received an email from our friend and she's also not well. Another friend's heart is broken because her boyfriend passed away. I wish I could be there for all of them. Give them a hug or an encouraging pat in the back. Or maybe just grab coffee with them and sit there to listen to them. I'm doing what I can from here. I just hate that they're not okay, when I'm here having a good time. How I wish that we can all be having the time of our lives and we can share all the good times with each other.

I also want them to know that I'm still here for them.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Been A While

It's been awhile since I wrote anything here. For those who still read this, I want you to know that I had a fabulous birthday. Disastrous, for me, because of something I should have done but didn't do, but nonetheless, I was with the love of my life. And that is enough to make my birthday a good one. Last year was the best birthday to date. HIHI.

So, I am now in Florida, for those of you who are wondering which state or city I am roaming around in and exploring now. I'm in the beautiful town of Vero Beach, FL. It's really nice here. Weather is nice, hot and humid just like the Philippines. I haven't seen the rest of winter but considering the fact that it's snowing in Mancos, CO -- I am not complaining...yet. HEHE.

I also got a free Blackberry for my birthday. HEHE Wooo! So I'll be online alot. HAHA Yay for unlimited everything! HAHA

I wanna say best wishes to a new friend of mine, who is getting married soon. And to those birthdays I forgot, sorry! :P I was too preoccupied!

Saturday, September 12, 2009

They're The Same Lot.

Well it seems I keep ending up with the same sort of people. Hopefully when I leave, Im also getting rid of some of them.

*karate chop*

It's a good thing, I have an idea of what's out there, what I can do, and where I can go where I wont be with such disgusting company.

*shwing* There goes my adamantium claws. HAHA

Disclaimer: If you think I am referring to you, then maybe I am. If you know I am referring to you, then I definitely am.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Birthday Wishlist.

Well, since it's already September and it's nearing my birthday, I would like to post a wishlist, more like wishful thinking list. I'm bored. HEHE

- A picnic with my baby at the beach! :)
- Krispy Kreme Karamel Krunch (I would blow my daily calorie counter for this.)
- Leche flan (I would distribute the calories to at most 2 weeks. HAHA)
- Tempura maki (I still haven't got my fill! HAHA)
- A doggie. (Pweaaasseee!!! I still love my baby diego, though!)
- A visit to a jacuzzi, or hot springs! HAHA
- Crispy pataaaa!
- Fresh Philippine mangoes! (I can make mango crepe! wee!)
- Luisa and Son's empanaditas!!!
- Jolly Chicken Joy and Spaghetti Meal
- Turon with Langka
- Banana Q
- Max's Fried Chicken chicken! Nyahehehe
- Cheesecake @ Cheesecake Factory!
- Beard Papa's!!!
- Holga ($32.00 @ Urban Outfitters!)
- Fishballs with the brown sauce ha!
- Guinataang Halo-halo
- Palitaw
- Yemaaaaa!!! *the leche flan would suffice though!
- Sisig!!!
- Mrs. May's Cashew Crunch (I can't find it anywhere!!!!)
- Grilled Milkfish (Inihaw na Bangus)
- Butterflied Milkfish marinated in garlic and vinegar (Daing na Bangus)
- Ube Pastillas and the regular pastillas

(Shet, lahat pampataba! Sorry I'm craving!) See? I told yah, it's more wishful thinking list!

Saturday, August 29, 2009


Im stuck here till October 8. But its okay. I'll get out of here as soon as October 8 hits, and I'm never going to think about this place again! Not if I can help it.


Friday, August 21, 2009

Currently Listening To...

Can I Go Now?
- Jennifer Love Hewitt

What's the point of trying to meet you in the middle
You got your point of view
There's nothing I can do
Can't change your mind
Can't leave it all behind
You're living in the past
We talk and talk
This goes on for hours
About how I should be
Why is it all me
Don't wanna fight
Don't wanna waste my time
Baby just can't last
I'm moving on, moving on

Can I go now
Say what you have to say
Happy you've got your way
There's nothing to discuss
Can I go now
Giving your point of view
Say what you want it too
So what's the point of love
Can I go now
Oh say what you have to say
Happy you've got your way
What's there to discuss

What's the point of trying to reach compromise
When you're the judge and jury
What's the story
I can't make you see that I'm not always wrong
I can't make you right
It's time to move on
I'm moving on


Let's go lead a day I'll pack my bags be on my way
Sure don't needs to stay
Where I'm not welcome anyway
Well now that's alright and that's OK yeah

There's nothing left to do
Maybe I'm not for you
So why don't you let it go

Tell me what's the point of all this
Talk, talk, talk, talk
We could go day and night
Still wouldn't make it right

Can I go now
Say what you have to say
Happy you've got your way
There's nothing to discuss
Can I go now
You're giving your point of view
Say what you want it too
So what's the point of love
Can I go now
I'll be on my way
Let's call it a day
Can I go now?
Now, why don't you let it go
Can I go now?


- Mariah Carey

When you love someone so deeply
They become your life
It's easy to succumb to overwhelming fears
Blindly I imagined I could
Keep you under glass
Now I understand to hold you
I must open up my hands
And watch you rise


Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly


I have learned that beauty
Has to flourish in the light
Wild horses run unbridled
Or their spirit dies
You have given me the courage
To be all that I can
And I truly feel your heart will
Lead you back to me when you're
Ready to land


Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly


I can't pretend these tears
Aren't over flowing steadily
I can't prevent this hurt from
Almost overtaking me
But I will stand and say goodbye
For you'll never be mine
Until you know the way
it feels to fly


Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly


Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly

Saturday, August 15, 2009

I Hope This Helps...

Me, most espescially. I wish I had read this before...all this.

Breaking Through the Sound Barrier
by Rick Warren
In our Devotionals series, Pastor Rick Warren discusses the Bible passages that inspire him the most. Today's Devotional is based on this passage:
"Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).
To really communicate, you must give up three things:

1. You must give up your assumptions. We get into trouble when we start assuming we understand the meaning of what people say to us. The truth is everything you hear goes through a filter. Your filter is determined by your past experiences and your unique personality. You may not be hearing what they are really saying. Therefore, it is smart (and safe) to ask for clarification: "Listen before you answer. If you don't, you are being stupid and insulting" (Proverbs 18:13 TEV).

2. You must give up your accusations. You never get your point across by being cross. Anger and sarcasm only make people defensive and that kills communication. There are four common forms of accusation:

• Exaggerating, such as making sweeping generalities like "You never," or "You always."
• Labeling, such as derogatory name-calling. Labeling never changes anyone. It only reinforces the negative behavior.
• Playing historian, such as bringing up past failures, mistakes, and broken promises.
• Asking loaded questions, ones that really can't be answered, such as, "Can't you do anything right?"

The Bible says, "Do not use harmful words, but only helpful words, the kind that build up and provide what is needed, so that what you say will do good to those who hear you" (Ephesians 4:29 TEV).

3. You must give up your apprehensions. Fear prevents honest communication. It causes us to conceal our true feelings and fail to confront the real issues. The two most common apprehensions are: the fear of failure and the fear of rejection. But when you face your fear and risk being honest, then real communication can happen. Freedom is the result of openness. Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free" (John 8:32 TEV).

Saturday, August 08, 2009

A Countdown Ensues.

So, I've just started a countdown to the days I have to stay here. As of date, I have 45 days to go before I can go to LA and visit my fiance and the city. And after a week, I'm off to Florida. I am hoping that it's a little bit better than here. It's not bad here at all, but I've had enough! Anyway, I am really looking forward to moving. It is much farther than LA, but I am hoping that there's more to do, and better people for company.

I am also praying that my fiance will get to go with me. We really wanna go to Alaska for summer. So, keeping my fingers crossed!


Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Fighting Loneliness.

I still have 2 and a half months here in the Colorado Rockies. Forgive me but for the likes of me, there is nothing to do here. Sure, the cliff dwellings were awesome, the petroglyphs are an experience and the surroundings are perfect, picturesque even, but I've been here for nearly 3 months and I'm over it. I will always remember the things I saw and learned, joining the tours, talking to locals but I am ready to move on.

It's lonely out here! Sometimes, I wanna jump off one of the cliffs already! I don't have a car, I solely rely on the shuttle to get me to the HR office or Post Office in the property and the town shuttle to go to town to buy groceries. On occasion there are activities, a trip to the casino, a tour of a cliff dwelling thats not part of the regular tour, river rafting (which was rather too early in the season when they decided to do it), there will be a Farmington run (which I will not join) and others. If I had a car I'd probably enjoy it more, I can drive to Durango and spend an afternoon taking pictures of the historic town and the train. I can eat at Sushitarian. I can drive to the park and sit there and watch the ducks and prairie dogs watch out for each other (it's rather funny!)or just nap under the trees.

My only relief from all all of this is after work, after a long day, I trudge to the dorms. I go to my room, open my laptop and I have a few messages waiting for me from my fiance. And we'd talk or fight or just talk. If the internet connection was better we'd be on webcam and I'd just watch him make silly faces, furrow his eyebrows about something, smile at something, argue with his mom or dad and sometimes, he'd watch me back.

So, Im just ready to get out of here. I'm ready to see a new place, meet new people, and discover new places for solitude.

Monday, July 13, 2009


It's so hard to be contented. When someone gets what they want, you think they can just start to kickback, relax and be happy. But no. I think it's human nature for us to then want something more.

A business man who only wanted to put up his own business will now want to put up an expansion. And then when he's finally put up an expansion, he will want to have his business be so sucessful that people will want to franchise...etc.

It's the same case with me. At first I only wanted to be able to come back here in the US. It didn't matter to me which state I will go. What was important was that I was closer to the person I love most. And then when I came here to Colorado, I wanted to see him. I wanted to be with him. And to make things worse, I wanted it NOW. And now I was just with him. We spent his birthday together. We did all the things we wanted to do, like eat at Denny's (again), watch a movie and travel. But now, he's on his way home. Now, I do not want him to leave. I wish, we can stay here together or I can go with him.

Being with him is like a natural sugar high. And now that he's leaving for home, I am crashing down...

Saturday, June 27, 2009

When You Say Nothing At All

Bubu, reminds me of what we were talking about last night! I love you!


It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word you can light up the dark
Try as I may I could never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Old Mr. Webster could never define
What's being said between your heart and mine

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes sayin' you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me if ever I fall
You say it best when you say nothing at all

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Child Sponsorship.

I have wanted to do this for awhile. But I keep hesitating. I kept saying, next time. And then I forget all about it. One fine Sunday, at church, a visiting priest spoke about sponsorships thru their organization. I listened. And I decided, I have to do this now, or else I wont be able to do this at all.

I picked a folder out. I read what was inside and put it back. I picked another one and read it and then put it back again. I picked a boy named Zal, eventually. He lives in Zamboanga in the Philippines. I chose someone from my home country simply because I know what poverty there is like.

I got my first newsletter today and I held back tears as I read the stories they shared about being a sponsor. I hope that I can keep sponsoring Zal and wont have to stop for financial reasons. I am happy that I finally did this.

If anyone is interested please contact: Now I hope I remember to buy a postcard for him tomorrow! :)

Monday, June 22, 2009

Christian Rey Guilles. :)

I am talking to someone lately. And I want to help her. I want to help her move on from the misery she is feeling. I want her to know that there's hope somewhere. Reading her messages everyday though, makes me see how incredibly lucky I am. That I was able to break free, that I had the perfect reason to wanna be free from that past.

Rey - the love of my life, my soul mate, my forever, my Prince in his armor. He saved me from further self destruction. He saved me from myself. And he saved me from him. He showed me that whatever I had before was not love. That what WE had is what Love is all about.

He showed me why, it never worked out with anyone else.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

How Is My Wish List?

This is my wishlist in 2008 for 2009. I wanna know how far I am from it. It's June and it's half the year. It is arranged in the order of the chances I will actually get it!

1. Rey. :P I am so happy!
2. One way ticket to LAX, for tomorrow. HAHA Well, it ain't LAX but beggars can't be choosers!
3. A job, again. HAHA
4. A new visa! HAHA Woooo!
5. A Mazdaspeed 3 Hatchback.
6. Plane tickets for two to Bora Bora!
7. A Mac Book Pro.
8. An iPhone.
9. AF Nikkor 14mm f/2.8D ED
10. Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Culinary Encyclopedia and Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Desserts and Pastries.

Not bad huh?!

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Sunday, June 14, 2009

Missing my baby so badly.

Wanna see him already...




Wednesday, June 03, 2009

The Prince.

I always thought that a Prince will be someone who is dashingly handsome.  And all the girls in the world will envy me because he chose me to be his princess.  He will come to me in a great white horse to save me from the foul creature that kept me from loving him. And after my Prince has slain the creature he will carry me on his horse, we will get married and live happily ever after.

But he’s not all of those things. My Prince is not only handsome outside but also inside. His heart is pure and full of love for me and all the people he cares about. He’s not your typical Prince who has a huge castle with plenty of gold and gems to offer me. He’s the kind of Prince who cares about others too much, and cares so little about himself. He is not the Prince who only serves to woo women and make them gush. He’s the Prince, who respects them and doesn’t play with their hearts.

Prince didn’t blow me away with his electrifying presence, but swept me away with his kind heart and thoughtfulness. My Prince showed me how to truly fall in love and stay in love. He showed me what real love is all about, a love that would last more than years, more than decades or even centuries.

I always protected myself from pain so I can keep my heart whole for him. But I found out that I was only whole when I was with him. When we are apart my soul languishes in agony for being without its other half. But endlessly hopes until the day that they are together again. He is not the Prince who plays but the one who prays, not only for me but for everyone he loves.

He’s the Prince who smiles when I smile and cries when I cry. He lifts me up when I’m down. And without an ounce of pride, lets me lift him up too. He hears out all my whines patiently and explains to me the reasons for such. He teaches the spoiled little girl in me, how to be grown up. He allows me to be his partner, the Ms. Hyde to his Dr. Jekyll, Lois Lane to his Clark Kent, Cher to his Sonny and the Batman to his Robin (HAHA). Partners, like husbands and wives. He’s the Prince who selflessly gives himself to me, and only me. He has attended to all my needs, and at times to my caprices.

He showed me a future at his side. Which place I never want to leave behind.  A little prologue to heaven, a future we both share and dream about. He’s the Prince I’ve been waiting for. He’s the one I wrote to once, and is writing to again. He’s the Prince I loved when I didn’t know him. And now that I do, there’s nothing else to do but…love him more.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

So, How Am I?

I've been good. Really good!

Well, I wish I could get more hours at work.

I wish I could go to LA to be with my baby.

I wish his ex would disappear off the face of the planet.

But other than that, I'm really good!

I miss my friends. They're really the people I miss when I'm out of the country. Simply because it's really not the same here.

But I love my baby. So that's okay. Haha I will just keep missing them.

Monday, May 25, 2009


Mesa Verde's Cliff Dwellings is in the 1,000 Places To See Before You Die book!!!

That means only one thing...I have only 999 places to see before I die!


I should buy that book.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Almost a month here in Colorado. I have seen the Cliff Dwellings, it's amazing! I still have to post pics but the internet is really bad. So, maybe next time. I'm enjoying myself here, I don't spend too much because I'm 40 miles from the nearest Wal-mart and there are only specific times that the bus takes us to go shopping.

I still cannot believe that I am fortunate enough to be able to return here. I thought it was going to be awhile. I still think about Amanpulo from time to time. But, I think I'm good here.

In keeping with tradition, I have been ignoring two people now. HAHA Which is kinda good, compared to the entire Filipino population I completely ignored back in Arizona. Well, except maybe like 4 or 5 people. It's not that I look down on them, it's just I didn't want to be part of it.

It's nice here where I am. Im waiting for a bear sighting, and hopefully I'd survive it. HEHE I've seen reindeers, cayotes, wild horses, different kinds of birds and different kinds of insects (which I wish I didn't have to see!)

I missed this. I'm waiting for my dvd's to come!

Saturday, May 02, 2009

R and R: To Do List (Extended Version)

Adding to my fiance's list!

(Well, it's really the things I wanna do with him. I don't see any other person I'd enjoy it with.)

- Get married! On the date we set, with no delays.

- Watch fireworks, just the two of us.

- Backpack in Europe.

- Go on the London Eye Ferris Wheel.

- Go to Rio De Janeiro during the Carnavale!

- Have our honeymoon in Bora Bora Islands.

- Stargaze in Orleans, MA ( Nauset Knoll Lodge!)

- Go on a cross country trip in the US.

- Go to Batanes!

- Vacation in Cancun!!!

- Go to Turkey!!! Constantinople here we come!

- Visit Four Corners Monument.

There's too many things I wanna do with him!!! :)

Friday, May 01, 2009

Rainbow Colors.

I've met some rather interesting people here in Colorado already. We're all going to be working together some time. My dorm neighbors are Brazilian, Argentinean and Jamaicans. Some of the guys I will work with will be Thai, Vietnamese, more Jamaicans, more South Americans, English, Americans, Native Americans, Romanians and Canadians. I also have Filipino colleagues. And my room mates are three other Filipinas. They're quite different though, more civilized than the last. One of them can be such a pest, because she asks too manyquestions, some I find rather stupid but she's okay. One of them is a slow poke.

The Brazilians are kinda low key, same with the Argentineans. The Jamaicans are sort of loud but they seem to be fun. Osbourne says that their language is English but whenever I listen to them I kinda just hear "ratatatatatatatatatat." It sounds silly at times. But they speak alot slower when we talk to them.

Im quite lucky because I'm only a hop and a skip away from my work place. It's right across my dorm. I already met the Executive Chef and my Sous Chef. I'm hoping for a good season. Tell you more, I need to get some rest because I want to take a small walk. Take some photos and catch the sunset.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


And so. I have news I've been keeping for awhile just like the last time. And now I can say it. Im here at the Denver International Airport. I'm waiting for my flight to Durango, Colorado. I know it's far from Los Angeles, but I do not mind. I know that soon enough I will be with my Lovey again. AND WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY! HAHA I can't wait.

For awhile I have been so mad for getting stuck in the Philippines, because of very bad choices. But now, I am given another shot at playing the ball. I am given a chance to change my life and this time, make better decisions. I still have some remainders of the past bad decisions I made. Hopefully I will forgive myself for those things before I enter a new chapter in my life. If things go as planned.

I am excited to start over with my life. I know I have good things in store for me. For now, all I can say is that I am so tired. But I am very very happy to be here.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

"...he's so wonderful, I realize that I had been terrible..." - Manel

Wow. As in WOW. I went out to see my friend Manel today and while we talked about our significant others she said these words and I realized that I felt the exact same thing! And I never, NEVER admitted to it until today. Yes, I am burning in hell with my pride. HAHA

Thing is, I never told Rey just how wonderful he is, until today. When the truth is, he is the most wonderful thing that happened to me. Even his sister agrees, he's the perfect boyfriend. :)

And the best thing is. He is MY boyfriend! As in MINE ONLY! HAHA Eat your heart out! :P

Thursday, April 09, 2009

One More Chance.

Holy week. This is the time I usually spend envying other people who can go to the beach and lay around the sun and the sand, while I stay at home, try to pray and put my iPod on loop. HEHE And so, in a clear effort not to stay green with envy I just watch TV. Thank heavens for cable! Well, not really. I know. I know this is not a time to watch television and drown myself with my play list but I can only focus on praying and repenting for so many hours. And so I ended up indulging the cheesy in me and started watching Cinema One. And just my luck, it’s John Lloyd and Bea!!! And what a movie. One where I can sooo clearly relate to right now. Gah.

Bea (Basia) and John Lloyd (Popoy) have been together for five years. They’re planning to get married. Basia and Popoy both work for the same construction firm where Basia is an Architect and Popoy is an Engineer. Basia broke up with Popoy because of how he was handling the relationship. She has started to feel like she lost a part of herself when they were together. She started to struggle in the relationship and eventually had to choose between the man she loves and between learning to love herself again. Of course he was devastated with her decision and was a wreck. After months of being separated Popoy returned to her scene (started to join barkada stuff again) appearing to have completely moved on. He also has a new girlfriend, a singer – but there’s something different about the “moved on” Popoy. Basia, of course, is still in love with him and broke up with him because she felt like she needed it. Popoy never really stopped loving her. The new girlfriend was the rebound. Poor girl. How does it end? Of course, Popoy just needed time to be alone and forget the pain Basia cost but in the end comes back for her, and I guess they lived happily ever after.

Where do I relate in this story? I’m the singer. HAHA. Well, it’s really not THAT funny. Whats the moral of this story? Stick to the iPod, steer clear of cheesy Pinoy love team films! GAH.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

Missing Cape Cod.

It's Spring time in the USA. And it's going to be summer soon. I miss Cape Cod. I miss Nauset Beach. I miss walking there with a can of coke and a slice of pizza from Zia's. And I miss walking home and swingin by the Sundae School and indulging in a huge cup of Nauset Mud Pie Ice Cream. Oh that's life.

It'd be fun to share it with my Lovey too!!!

Friday, March 27, 2009


Well, my life is quite eventful. I have a lot going on. The most exciting part is that I have two standing job offers in the works. Really great opportunities, I am sooo torn. HAHA

Oh well.

Friday, March 20, 2009

9 Reasons People Cheat

by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:05am PDT

Maybe I'm not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I'm too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I'm too afraid that I've reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.

Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with them, you don't look for a way to hurt or deceive them.

I am just now patching up a friendship with someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.

I told her she wasn't being fair to herself, me, or him.

Finally, she said, "you just don't understand, there are things you don't know." Thing is she's been cheating on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps taking her back.

So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:

1. Bored
I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

(Yes, I am guilty of "letting. HAHA)

5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

(Guilty! HAHA)

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

(For people who feel inferior? Or insecure?)

8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.

I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?

Could this be an explanation? HAHA

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Awesome. (Random)

...that you choose to stay each time I ask you to go
.......that I pushed you away
..........that I hurt you

...that you welcome me into your loving arms
......each and everytime matter what I did matter what I said matter how hard I resisted

...that in the end all that we want is us be together make each other happy take care of each other's blessing to have you in my life love me and to love take care of me and to take care of share my life with

We only have 10 more months to go, baby. And I cannot wait!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

5th Moon!!!

Wow. It's been 5 months! And even if there were times when it was hard, I can still say that I am still smitten. Still very much in love. Still very happy!

And I cannot wait to start my life with him...soon. Real soon!

I love you so much, Christian Rey Guilles!

Sunday, March 08, 2009

Brain Farts.

I should get confirmed real soon.

I wonder who will take care of our babies (when we are blessed with one) when we're both working.

I want to earn $1,000,000 in the next five years and put it in a CD.


Saturday, March 07, 2009

Qualities Of My Prince.

--Because my friend, April pesters me, how I knew the Prince to be My Prince. HAHA I got this at some relationship quiz a while ago.


INTELLECT (Bright and can share my understanding of the worls as well as enjoy discussing important issues.)

FAMILY LIFE (Commited to marriage, home and family.)

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY (Able to have a stable life with someone else.)

FAMILY (Shares my desire to have or adopt children.)

PERSONAL HABITS (Maintains high standards of personal hygiene and other personal habits.)

PASSIONATE (Willing to explore our sexual *grins* desires with passion and understanding.)

COMMUNICATOR (Good at talking and listening. *I got more than what I asked for.*)

STRONG CHARACTER (Honest and strong enough to do the right thing.)

CHEMISTRY (Feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.)

AMBITION (Shares my desire to achieve high financial and/or career goals.)


LYING (Someone who lies to anyone.)

CHEAP (Tightfisted as to be impractical.)

CHEATING (Takes advantage of people. *wink*)

UNDEPENDABLE (Fails to come through and unreliable.)

SELF-CENTERED (Main topic is himself. *I know someone.*)

INFIDELITY (Engages on sex outside a committed relationship.)

DENIAL (Unable to accept blame or see fault in their actions. *Guess who?!!*)

HYPOCRITES (Holds double standards. *Err...sorry*)

VANITY (Overly interested in their physical appearance. *If he takes longer to get out of the restroom more than you. Take hair loss pills, or buys Olay Total Effect, then I suggest you think long and hard about him. HAHA*)

FLIRTS (Constantly flirts with the opposite sex.)

--There you have it, April. Unfortunately I cannot find the quiz again. I would've wanted you to take it. HAHA

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Amusement Break.

So, this girl messaged me the other day because she's going out again (because she was once one of "the other girls") with my ex. She just wanted to ask me if I thought he was gay.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Nakakatawa kayo!!! Super!)

On a more serious note, I think you people should leave me alone. :P

Sunday, March 01, 2009

The greatest feeling in the world that I get is knowing that I have made my loved one happy.

And knowing how much the efforts had been appreciated.

I love you, Christian Rey Guilles! :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I just realized that I am the same lover. It's just different intensity of feelings or how passionate I am about my partner. But I still do the same things, maybe more.

And also, I am still the same brat. Over and over and over again. Good thing my fiance is as patient as a mango tree. HAHA.

(I love you so much, Christian Rey Guilles!)


Thursday, February 19, 2009

If I Were A Boy/Girl

So I was listening to this song this morning and it was only this morning that I really listened to the R. Kelly part.

If you were a boy
then girl you'd understand
you need to stop listening to your friends
love, respect and trust your man

So I go to clubs with the guys and sometimes flirt with the girls
I should be able to roll out
as long as Im coming home to you
and give you the world

But you are not a boy,
so you dont have a clue (ey)
How I work and pay the bills
girl everything I do is for you

***YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HAHA Any guy who agrees to this doesn't deserve a decent woman. Tsk.

So anyway...the next song was...

"Hate That I Love You"
(feat. Ne-Yo)

As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

Yeaahhh... Oohh...

As much I love you (as much as I need you)
As much as I need you (oooh..)
As much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

***And I just realized that this is exactly how Rey makes me feel. HAHA But, I love him and that's that.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Separation anxiety is a psychological condition in which an individual has excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (like a father and mother).

Present in all age groups, adult separation anxiety disorder (affecting roughly 7% of adults) is more common than childhood separation anxiety disorder (affecting approximately 4% of children). Separation anxiety disorder is often characterized by some of the following symptoms:
- Recurring distress when separated from the subject of attachment (such as significant other, the father or the mother, or home)
- Persistent, excessive worrying about losing the subject of attachment
- Persistent, excessive worrying that some event will lead to separation from a major attachment
- Excessive fear about being alone without subject of attachment
- Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep without being near a major attachment figure, like a significant other or mother
- Recurrent nightmares about separation.

Saturday, February 14, 2009


"What you have is enough. What you can do is enough.

Right now you have enough time, energy, knowledge, skills and resources to point your life in any direction. Once you begin the journey, as you need more, you'll find ways to bring it about.

It's silly to wish for more when you could instead be making full use of what you have. Put your energy into creating the life you choose to live.

Allow your inner self to be exactly where you would most like to be. And the rest of you will soon be there too.

An endless abundance is yours if you simply choose to accept it. Fully accept what already is, and suddenly you have it all.

Instead of wishing for more, bring to life the very best of the dreams that are already yours. Know that you already are enough, and discover just how magnificent it is." - Ralph Marston

Friday, February 13, 2009

"One day someone will walk into your life and you will realize why it never worked out with anyone else." - Unknown

"Minahal ko sha (friend referring to ex) pero one day I will meet the person who will show me what real love is. Na hindi pa pala love yun (referring to ex.)" - Friend

Have you ever told anyone that you loved them with all your heart? I have. Have you ever told anyone that you've never felt so strongly for anyone but them? I have. How come when I met him everything changed? It felt like I was rediscovering what it meant to love someone? To feel for someone? It felt like, all those other times didn't matter. All that mattered is this, what I have now. If that's the case does it mean that you didn't really love the previous ones? Does it mean you lied?

Why am I asking all of this? ...because I never wanna say those words again to anyone else.

I want what I have now. I've never been happier. Like what he always says...I am happy. I am content. I am satisfied. I am in love. I am loved.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Pre V-Day Drama.

I'm slowly getting engulfed in some melancholic cloud, brought about by some reasons I am not yet aware of...but I have several guesses:

1. Valentine's Day is coming up. And we're thousands of miles apart.
2. PMS. Although it's too early.
3. I miss him.
4. Low sugar intake. HAHA
5. I just need a time-out. Some time alone.
6. I just realized what a bad friend I've been.
7. Looking for a dress I can't seem to find at the price I wanna buy it for. HAHA
8. Gaining weight.
9. Stressed out.
10. I want to go abroad again. I'm sick of Pinas. (Sorry peeps. If my baby ain't here, then I should'nt be here either.)

Saturday, February 07, 2009


Hindi naman mashado obvious that you guys are reading MY blog. HAHA It's alright. I don't really care much. It's just amusing.

So, moving on. I finally got my teddy back. Thanks to my ex's mom. It's nice how we've remained friends thru all the mess. Then again, I am also friends with my other ex's mom. And I made quite a good rapport with my fiance's mom, so I guess that concludes I'm quite good with moms. HAHA

Restaurant is going to be running soon, we're so busy preparing everything. I'm excited! :)

I'm missing my besty, Tonet. Some other friends like Ella, Gelo (he still owes me photo sessions), and starting to miss my girls.

I have a new project. To chronicle my life on still pictures. I just think I should have at least one photo of me each month. Oh well. Like I have the time.

Browsing my folder of Bubu's stuff. Our stuff. I should really start putting some things down for the wedding. I have the dress design I want, the entourage needs more tweaking (got a lot to do with his side though), need to get confirmed. Blah blah.

Need to continue losing weight. HEHE The no starch diet is not working out because of company meals, but I'll do something about it soon.

I need to go to Nickoy's (yes, I am perfectly aware of the conditions imposed), to copy songs off of her pc and see the baby.

I miss my beautiful niece!!! I posted a picture of her on my multiply site. I want my own little Rey...Reys. HEHE

Getting more sleep but really missing my Bubu. He's coming back soon though! :D

Fourth month is coming up. It's really near V-Day, super baduy. HAHA

I want to make yema, probably tomorrow. Yema tarts! Damn, I forgot to print out my research on yema at work. Grrr. Oh but I have a visitor tomorrow so, scratch that.

I want an iPhone!!! *please give*

Tired. Zzzzz.

Friday, February 06, 2009

My Wildest Laugh Of The Day.

My Bubu will be pissed at me if he found out but I was just testing if my article will appear on google. It didn't. But I found something else that made me laugh so hard, I made the whole office read it. HAHA


Monday, February 02, 2009

The Absence Of You.

I thought by now we'd be way past the stage of always wanting to be with each other. Afterall it's been three months. Two and a half of them we were apart. We lost a little bit of the time we used to spend talking on the phone when I started working and we got used to it somehow. We're not talking alot right now. He went to Arizona on business. Gosh, I wish I was there!

I miss him. This page wouldn't be enough to describe the pain in my heart that misses him so badly.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Very Special Love.

No, it's not the songs lyrics anymore. I'm 26. I'm turning 27 this year. And I'm in love with the most wonderful guy. The thing that is most amazing is that now, I am actually sure that I am ready to settle down with him. I am sure that I will spend the next years of my life well with him at my side.

The last 8 years of shuttling from dating and some relationships have shown me the way to a place I can call my own. Beside him. It's like there's no other place to be but there. Admist the fears in my heart. The anxiety the distance brings me, his soothing voice admist the inner storm calms me down.

I cannot wait to see him again. It's been 3 months of constant phone calls, of a barrage of text messages, multiple instant messaging accounts to just keep in touch - in any other case I would've felt too tied down. But I don't.

It's amazing how at the strike of 8 or 9 PM at the latest I would be headed home so I can call him at 10 or 11 PM. No matter how great the party I am at would seem. No matter how long I haven't seen my friends. It's amazing that it is my own choice to do this. Not something he had to ask of me.

It's amazing that even when I am not in the best of moods and didn't want to talk to him I still will. Usually no one can make me. The funniest part is how much I would miss him when I'm in my better mood.

There are plenty of things that are amazing about US, that we notice everyday we spend "together". All of those are a plus at how things are just falling into place. The only thing that is left is to be together. Which will be soon.

Sunday, January 11, 2009


Sometimes, it sucks to be me.

I want to sleep.




Saturday, January 03, 2009

A Survey Recap.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
- Went to Disney.
- Hopped on a train.
- Sat at the bar New York nonetheless.
- Got a laptop, camera and iPod for myself.
- Went to a rave party...which wasn't that much.
- Went completely numb.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Kind of. I tried. My resolution was to go to church every sunday and I did try but I was better when I was in MA.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No not really. She wasn't that close to me.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No not really.

5. What countries did you visit?

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
- Better self image.
- Self-confidence.
- A Savings account.
- More discipline to be able to lose weight.

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Oct 23, 2008. HEHE

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting hired as Sous Chef! (Guess what I got my dream job! All on my own! HAHA)

9. What was your biggest failure?
Failing to recognize a person's true intentions.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Sort of yeah.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Nikon D90 and my laptop!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Christian Rey Guilles'. HEHE. :) Loooove him.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Francesco Ongkiko

14. Where did most of your money go?
Some bastard.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
- Disney! (HAHA)
- Seeing my Bubu almost everyday.
- My job now.

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
Take A Bow - Rihanna
Leavin' - Jesse McCartney
Single - NKOTB

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- Happier or Sadder? Definitely happier!
- Richer or Poorer? Poorer. HAHA
- Thinner or Fatter? Thinner...but gaining weight. AGHH!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Fixing my papers so I didn't have to go home.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Listening to the bastard. HAHA

20. How did you spend the holidays?
On the phone with my Bubu.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Gossip Girl, The Hills.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Well, hate is such a strong word. Let's just say I don't really give a damn.

25. What was the best book you read?
Twilight, 5 People You Meet In Heaven, Alchemist (because I re-read it! HAHA)

26. What was your favorite film of this year?
I didn't watch a lot of films. Sex And The City, which I saw over the internet.

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
More grown-up and fab! HAHA

28. Whom did you miss?
I missed Rey the most.

29. Who was the best new person you met?
Hands down, my fiance, Christian Rey Guilles!

30. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
God listens. He doesn't always give us what we want but instead gives us what we need the most.