Thursday, August 30, 2007

Laws Of Attraction.

Have you heard about it? The theory that your thoughts are so powerful that it attracts what you're thinking of into your life? Sounds new age?

"People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle? Be the miracle."- God, Bruce Almighty
So, I was wondering and thinking like I always do. If I am confusing the universe with my thoughts and actions. I hope not.

Sometimes, I pray and I get confused of what I am praying about. Like I have alot of things I wanna lift up to Him, and it seems to rush out faster, before I can think about them or mutter about them.

I hope I am not negative-ing myself. No. I hope not.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007



Everyone has them. I think I am deluded by them, but what if you're not someone's ideal? How does it feel?

I am not his ideal girl. I've known for a while. Actually, I think I've known ever since. It's funny right? That I cry every night because of a guy who doesn't even think of me as his ideal girl. Not really. It's funny knowing and trying not to feel anything about it.

I want to know what he thinks of me. Does he smile when he thinks of me? Will he remember me fondly? Will he treasure the memories we had? What will he remember of me most?

Tears. Leche.

I wanted to know if I can even be close to what this girl is like. Maybe somehow I have something in me that's remotely close to what she is, that I have something to offer that she cant. And maybe it will be enough to make him stay.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Crying my tearducts out...

I've been crying every night, lately. It's not that I want to fore go of my plans, no it's not that. It's just I'm sad I'm leaving someone behind. I love him. I love him so much and I am starting to miss him, right now.

Just the thought of being so far away from him is tearing me apart. But these plans, will make a better future for us, and it will help.

I just don't know if I would still have a home to come home to in time. Or if distance and time will eat my dreams and plans away...

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Reading another blog...

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end."

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question, "What kind of man are you looking for?" She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye and asking.

"Do you really want to know?" Reluctantly, he said, "Yes." She began to expound...

As a woman in this day and age, I am in a position to ask a man what he can do for me that I can't do for myself. I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man...or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, "What can you bring to the table?"

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought and stated, "I am not referring to money. I need something more."

I need a man who is striving for perfection in every aspect of life."

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, and asked her to explain.

She said, “I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection mentally because I need conversation and mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man.”

I am looking for someone who is striving for perfection spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked... believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for perfection financially because I don't need a financial burden. I am looking for someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I am looking for someone who I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive... he just has to be worthy. God made woman to be a helpmate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself.

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, "You're asking a lot.”

She replied, "I'm worth a lot."

I was reading Ella's blog earlier. I started with her entry "Stupid Love". I can relate I will soon be faced with something simillar to that. But I will take the path that I have long put myself into. I wanted it, I earned it and I need it to become the person that I can be whatever happens I know I will gain from it.

And then I stumbled across this other entry which is really an interesting read, impressive even. But where do you find a man like him? I have every reason to believe I found mine already. And I hope that every other girl who wants to meet her prince will find a man worthy of her.

You see...I still believe in the line "A woman's love story is exactly how she wants it to be."or from the movie The Wedding Date, ''Every woman has the exact love life she wants.''

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Thank you. (random)

For the thoughtful way you squeeze my hand.

For the hugs those times my heart, my soul and my body is slumped.

For the support and courage you always have for me.

For those annoying kisses you insist on giving me.

For staying up to drive for me.

For those surprisingly sweet messages you'd send me, which would make my day.

For including me in your life plans and for wanting to be in mine.

For those days you cuddled with me.

For those days you went "away" with me.

Thank you for the last four months of bliss, tears, laughters and magic. I hope we're both looking forward to a lifetime of them.