Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Missing out.

I'm not counting my blessings. Yes, ingrateful twerp that I am. I'm failing to see the good in all the things that are being presented to me that can bring more meaning to my life. Argh. Anyway...I feel so "un-blessed" right now. Like I'm not feeling the sanctity of things, the diviness. I'm way too detached with my spirituality right now, I seriously need to be rushed to the confession booth at greenbelt.

Oh God! Save me! Seriously.

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Sweet nothings...

"Bu I really miss you. This sat, I wanna hug and kiss you endlessly...I love you with all my heart!" - Francis

I melted when I read the message he sent a couple of days ago. And that was what I had been looking forward to the whole day today. Work had been tiring and my colleague hasn't been helping out much. Sadly, he seems to have been thrown off his mood.

I think it's why it's called sweet nothings...because sometimes...it's really NOTHING.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Save Me.

SAVE ME by Josh Verdes

Save me
I feel like I’m goin’ crazy
I’ve got this lady
She’s got me on my knees
I’m saying baby baby please
Don’t leave tonight without giving me
Some of your lovin’ it makes me weak
Somebody save me

And lately
I feel like I’m goin’ crazy
I’ve got this lady
The way her lips just move
The way her hips just groove
The feelin’ I get when she says my name
It’s a feeling that never feels the same
Save me

Coz I found the
Love that is one of a kind
This time I’m in for real
And I know I’m just way too deep
Someone, oh someone
Save me now

And lately,
I know I’m goin’ crazy
I’ve got this lady
You’re now that’s all I think about
The next time I can think around
I really don’t wanna feel this way
But I think it’s already way too late
Save me

I found the love that is one of a kind
This time I’m in for real
I know..I’m just way too deep
Someone ooohh someone
Save me

Coz I’ve been there way too many times before
And everytime I say it’s not gonna work
Not this time so…save me
Just save me
Somebody save me
Yeah…oh ohhh

Coz I found the love that is one of a kind
This time I’m in for real
and I know I’m just way too deep
Someone…oh someoneI said someone….
Save me now
Save me now…

Yes, I desperately need saving...this is the first time in many months that I'm this slumped. Again, I am alone. Like I've always been even in the company of others...always struggling with myself.

In the end, I know. There is no one but myself who I can totally rely on to be there for me, to console me, to believe in me and to cheer me on.

If I had known? Then why is this thought tearing me apart?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

It hurts to know that you're alone. Even if it's by choice, even if you don't really have anyone...

But what hurts more is that knowing you have someone, even just one person, who could actually be there, but they're either too busy, not there (physically) or just doesn't care at all.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

It's funny how I always, ALWAYS have proof of this:

"People always leave." - Peyton Sawyer
Yes It's not exactly very optimistic, and Peyton is not really a very optimistic character. She's got the goth drama thing going, and yet, that simple lesson is always right in my face. Right now, some friends of mine are in the middle of settling they're differences. It's not only their friendship that's on the line here, it's almost their lives, their hard work, and their craft. Yes, I do admit I have not been exactly that much of a friend to them but I think that to abandon all of their hard work and friendship because of some differences isn't worth it.

But then, sometimes not all things are good for us. And those that aren't are either taken away from us or leaves us because they are not meant to be in our lives forever, just to teach us something.

Oh well. I guess, that's really how life is. There are no keepers, or ever afters...just lifetimes.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Can anyone spell T-I-R-E-D?

This is like the first time I'm going to rant about work being too tiring! I mean I love my job and I've never really complained about it, but really this one is like most tiring week of my life. My only consolation is I get to see my boyfriend once in a while and get a hug to chase all the weariness away. I am super happy that he lets me go and hug him after work whenever I can. :)

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Sana Maulit Muli

I was watching this film earlier on cable, simply because there wasn't anything more interesting to watch. The story is all about a couple who had to separate because the heroine was set to migrate to the US. And the hero, urged her to go so that she can learn to be more independent. And as most stories go, the girl had a hard time adjusting but soon got used to it and was able to cope with the lifestyle. The hero, in his effort to win his love back has decided to go to the US and woo her back only to realize that they've drifted so far apart.

So, while I was seeing this I started to wonder about how my relationship will take this, in the event that one of us leaves for work. I'm not sure if the relationship can handle that much strain. We haven't really been together that long, admittedly up to now, we are still getting to know each other. Plus the fact that I still stand insecure to his hoardes of girls. I mean I don't think I'll ever get over it. They're just too many! I was browsing his friends list and almost everyone on his list is a girl! I mean what about those girls who aren't in his list? And most of the people his inbox are also girls! Argh. I mean with the proximity, the fact that we dont really have the super duper tight bond as a couple yet, whose to say that he wont find someone else. There are couples who have been together for years and yet when one of them leaves, the relationship also dies. Paano pa kaya kami? Hay, I'm going crazy.

Anyway, so there, I've let it out. At least that's another thing I don't really need to think about that much...*sigh*

Can't my brain rest for awhile? *looks up* I knew I should've stuck to The Untalkative Rabbit on Disney! Argh!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Random thoughts...

I'm considering moving to QC near work.

I can't take the commute to and from work, plus I'll be able to save on my expenses.

I have to check with my Aunt if I can live with her, but...there's no AC.

Random Question: How do you (yes you!) feel when I cry? I just thought about it, triggered by somethng a friend told me, you seem not to care even if I'm crying. I just realized that when we fight and I start to cry you just sit there, and you seem to be so cold hearted.

I looked like a first time promdi when I went to Trinoma this morning when I reported to work. I must've looked silly.

I love the "Greenbelt" side of it!

Can I stand living with cousins who don't talk to me?

I want to go to bora.

My neck still hurts.

The cute guy from FOH has a pink phone...and I think he wants to have the same PINK phone that I have. BWAHAHAHAHA Oh well.

I miss Andre, my Bubu's so kulit nephew! I'm going to bake him cookies, with less sugar one of these days. HAHA

Bad back again! Argh!

Monday, July 02, 2007

Que Horror!

I have a secret. I can't tell yet. I wasn't supposed to tell anyone, except my family. My boyfriend, I actually hesitated to tell him. I don't want anyone to put any negative energy into the plan. But...it's unavoidable...some people found out either from me, from my mom, my boyfriend or whatever.

I hope it's not gonna affect the plan in a negative way. Everythings just right where it's supposed to be, it looks so promising. I just don't want anyone to chase it away. I have to purge the negativity.