Friday, February 29, 2008

Another Night Spent Staring at My Ceiling.

I've been thinking. And yes, I have been hurting myself thinking about this. I'm thinking about what to do with my life. I hate it when everything is so uncertain and I dont have a clear path to take where I absolutely know what will happen to me if I take it. I hate making choices. I wish someone could just tell me what to do, but I'm sure the rebel in me would hate that too.

It may seem like I am living "the life." Imagine a young (well, not really) person like me being able to travel and work and doing what she loves to do in the country she's always dreamed of going? Seems like paradise right? No. Right now I have a decision to make. A major one, and it's going to change my life, my plans and my future.

*some parts deleted due to security reasons.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

I'm old!!!

I saw some pics...and then I realized I am old...

before (circa 2005) and after (circa 2008)
Botox, here I come?

Friday, February 22, 2008

My Prince = Forever.

There are times when I just want to look at your face
With the stars in the night
There are times when I just want to feel your embrace
In the cold night
I just can't believe that you are mine now

You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You're all I need to be with forevermore

All those years I've longed to hold you in my arms
I've been dreaming of you
Every night I've been watching all the stars that fall down
Wishing you will be mine now
I just can't believe that you are mine now

You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world
You're all I need to be with forevermore

Time and again there are these changes
That we cannot end
As sure as time keeps going on and on
My love for you will be forevermore

I just can't believe that you are mine now
You were just a dream that I once knew
I never thought I would be right for you
I just can't compare you with anything in this world

As endless as forever
Our love will stay together
You are all I need to be with forevermore

As endless as forever(forever)
Our love will stay together(together)
You are all I need to be with forevermore

~~I listened to this song on the way home. One of the guys had a cd of it. I remembered how much I miss my Bubu.

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Caught In A Web Of Energies!

I feel like a goddamn pingpong ball. Hit back in forth into positive and negative energy fields. I'm dizzy. Ulk.

No cannot be. I have to have only one energy field to move in. And thats positive. And should become some sort of a mantra.

No more hows. Just know you will get it.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


I'm anxious. My aunt just called me to tell me she already found an employer for me. Well, a prospective employer. Mixed emotions. I'm happy, at the same time, I'm scared. I dont know how to be in architecture anymore. I mean I was there for a while. Okay, who am I kidding for 6 years of my life. :) But since embracing cooking as a more realistic career for me. Not to mention my passion, I've quite buried the fact that I have a degree in Architecture. A degree that was filled with tears, disappointments, highs and dreams.

I dont want to let go of the life I have right now. Of what I am doing, of the dreams I have rebuilt. But this is the only way for me to be able to get the things I want. So I guess, this is it. I'm anxious. I dont know what its gonna be like again. But I know in some way I should be able to find an outlet. To be able to still become the person I want to be.

Monday, February 18, 2008

What I Love About My Life Right Now.

Francis. DUH (Kailangan pa bang imemorize yan?!)

Valley Metro - except when I get left by the bus. Happened to me this morning. The bus didnt wait long enough!

Scottsdale Fashion Square - Great mall! :)

See's Candies!

The independence I really have. I actually have a choice of taking or not my mom's phone calls! HAHA

The way I miss my dad.

My roomies, Ate Sandra and Ate Belen. 2140 is a bit more tolerable coz of them.

Sunday's off! - I get to go to church.

My boss!!! - He's the bestest and one of the cutest boss I've had. :)

Picking up some Spanish and Italian phrases. :)

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Arizona Tidbits. Laughable.

I was just thinking about the funny things that has happened to me so far...

I was Ugly Betty for halloween. And it was soooo fitting.

I washed the dishes for the 3rd time using the dishwasher and I flooded up the kitchen. HAHA

Running to avoid the cold, which actually makes it colder.

Pushing the costco cart back to the apartment, with every intention of bringing it back, when I was going back down the cart was gone. Two days later I saw it in the trash bin.

Running after the bus.

Always getting stuck listening to homeless people. And getting begged at! Grah!

Sticking my hand in the pizza oven when its cold even in the kitchen.

Stopping and petting almost every dog I come across with.

Walking into Nordstroms with my hand carry luggage, that had wheels, I usually use as my purse in case I shopped and couldnt carry anymore bags. I looked like a hilly billy!

Defrosting a pack of pork and almost flooding my kitchen again! :) Blech!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

The thought.


Nikon D300 here I cooooommmmmmmmmeee!!!! :)

Mini Cooper! Vrrooom!!!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Happy Valentines!

Well...this is my first Valentine's in a different country. Its not as overrated as the Philippines. Ulk. HAHA Sorry, I just never really celebrated Valentine's properly I guess. I always celebrated with my friends. Single girls, you know?

I am so irritated with Francis and his obsession with his stupid muscles. Swear. I hate muscles. The perfect body I've seen so far is Carlos'. It's lean enough, not too much muscles. I'm sure his girlfriend loves to snuggle up to him. Not to mention that he's muy gwapito. Francis used to be sexy. Now he's just one bulk of hard mass. Blech. Not so sexy at all, its even borderline gay.

Anyway, we had a good evening at the restaurant. I'm sure the servers made alot of money. I wonder how romantic the couples were. But they're old. So it may seem icky. They can be cute though. When they're not pain in the asses. HAHA

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Little smiles of my day.

We were walking at Gateway Mall to the parking lot after dinner with my bestfriend. At the escalator you turned to me and hugged me and you said "Uuwi na tayo. Ayaw ko."

We were in Cafe Breton after the we watched the sunrise in Tagaytay and you said "Give me a kiss!"

The way you squeezed my hand to direct me where we are going.

You picked me up from work in TriNoMa and when you saw me you walked towards me, gave me a big hug and whispered to my ear "I miss you." Accompanied by a silly smile on your face.

The way you always carried that collage I made in your bag. Is it still there?

~~Just some of the things I was remembering today.

Thursday, February 07, 2008


You will never hear it back home. A hawk or raven or crow ka-cawing. It's one of those surreal things here in Arizona.

Here birds actually circle above you. You can watch them fly, chirp and transfer from branch to branch.

In Desert Mountain, javelinas (wild pig), cayotes and deer prance about. People dont shoot them. Someone will have your ass if you do that.

Its nice. It's actually one of the things I like about here.

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

The Last.

This is my one last rant. Actually, I have not much to rant about. I have a good job, was fortunate enough to be able to come here. Although I miss my Bubu so much. Thats it. I miss him super duper duper duper miss!!!

Today, I will forget about the people who get into my nerves and laugh everthing off.

Today, I will focus on the positive things that are happening to me.

Today, I will believe in the abundance of the earth.

Today, I will have faith in God to lead me to the right direction. And back in my Bubu's arms.

Today, nothing others say can shake me, pull me down or annoy me.

Today, I am invincible. them.

Sunday, February 03, 2008


Again. Its nothing new. I have been alone almost everyday here. I went to church and I just feel overwhelmed again. I asked for lot of things that I hope and pray (again) that He will give me.

It's so cold out. I started feeling sorry (again) for myself because I was shivering in the cold. I just started to tell myself "this is a sacrifice for worshiping God" it turned to some sort of mantra. And then it wasnt that cold anymore.

I miss my positivity. I am having a lot of problems getting it back.