I don't know how many "Meant To Be?" entries I might already have but this is the question that likes to pop up in my head from time to time. So, I was talking to my mom last night, she asked me to call her because two of my college friends were at the house at the request of my aunt. They were going to talk about some projects she might have for one of them.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
I dont know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go. Its like we're scared to lose what we dont have. Some of us say we'd rather have that something than absolutely nothing, but the truth is, having it half-way is harder than not having at all.I agree. I know I read this somewhere and had to look through dozens of old entries to find it. I was working this afternoon and I remembered this quote.
Posted by soulfoolchic at 1/28/2010 11:25:00 PM
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
In my search for answers why these things happen to me, I realized that people cheat because they are not satisfied. And because they aren't satisfied, they try to find whatever they are missing from other people. Instead of helping their partners find a way to satisfy them they turn to others.
But not everyone does that. I don't do that. I am not saying I'm a saint and I have never cheated before. I have, but I had different reasons for doing so. What I am saying is that, even when I am dissatisfied with my partner, I don't go looking for what I am missing in others. I try to find a way to get my partner to satisfy me. Maybe I have a different approach on things like I whine to them a lot or give them attitude, but at least I am not out getting to know guys looking for that something my partner lacks.
It's just amazing. I am dumbfounded.
Posted by soulfoolchic at 1/20/2010 11:40:00 PM
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A gentleman at church nudged me on the way out. He told me "Smile, it's a beautiful day out." It's true. It rained at around 6 AM my time and the clouds were heavy when I walked to church but somehow in that hour long mass the clouds managed to clear and you can see the sun peeking through as we got out of church. It wasn't hot, it wasn't cold. It was truly a beautiful day. And I thought that I should really smile.
So I smiled. And when I did, it hurt. I couldn't keep smiling instead tears started to run down my cheeks. My heart is so broken. I didn't know I was still capable of taking the pain. I thought I was done. I thought now is the time that is really for me. That I will no longer have to worry about someone hurting me, betraying me or unloving me. I thought that THAT was over. I thought that I already found the best guy, the most right guy for me. I thought that now I can let go of the fictional prince and live out my fairytale.
It's confusing. Hay.
Posted by soulfoolchic at 1/17/2010 10:34:00 AM
Friday, January 15, 2010
I love romantic comedy movies. You know, boy meets girl, they fall in love, they have fun and then something happens, they hurt each other but in the end love prevails -- they kiss and the screen pans out. Yup. I'm a sucker for those movies. Even if I already know how it will end, I still watch them. With each ending, I hope my own love story will be something like it. Thing is, what happens when the screen pans out? Do they just end up gazing at each other's eyes lovingly? Do they just kiss and kiss and kiss nonstop? See, the screen doesn't pan out to the credits in real life. It just keeps going.
It's been three years since I "met" my Prince. Three years since I started writing him. Three years since I started believing that there was one person, who will love me for who I am. And I will love him back as much as he loves me. In those three years, I was with two guys. One who had me convinced he was the prince but he turned out to be an ass. And I am now with another guy, who could be him. I really want him to be.
My Prince who has inspired me in so many ways. Who has made me feel loved even when I didn't know him then. He made me believe that there is love. And I didn't need another person to love me right then and there. I just needed to know that I will be loved when he finally comes.
Sometimes, I think I should already let go of my Prince and just live. Stop looking for him in the guys I am with. After all it is a known fact that most guys are princes in the beginning but monsters at the end. Well, okay not all of them. Some of them don't, not monsters not really. But not exactly a prince too.
Prince, is the result of my wild imagination. It was fun while it lasted, but I cannot live my life around fairy tales. In real life, even when we love someone we hurt that person we love. In real life the ending isn't as happy, because when life ends it means someone gets left behind. In real life, the pain doesn't stop after we kiss and make up, because there will be other pains that will follow, because for as long as we live we will keep on making mistakes and those mistakes will hurt someone, somehow.
So, right now...I just want to live.
Posted by soulfoolchic at 1/15/2010 09:52:00 AM
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Friday, January 08, 2010
I have been so caught up with my life that I wasn't able to write this. I have been meaning to. So 2009 was quite eventful. Joys and tears combined.
Posted by soulfoolchic at 1/08/2010 03:47:00 PM
Saturday, January 02, 2010
Flitting through a web of emotions
trying hard to take the tension
Hearts soar, hearts fall
heart spirals out of control
Tears fall, I see a back walking away
Rushing out to follow, running to keep up
He doesn't stop, he keeps going
We keep going, tripping, falling
Roller coaster ride, trying to go with the tide
Stop please, let's rest
I thought we were the best
Seems like we're just like the rest
Posted by soulfoolchic at 1/02/2010 09:27:00 PM
Today the year became old again.
Posted by soulfoolchic at 1/02/2010 08:21:00 PM