Very Special Love

By Lani Misalucha

I never believed in love
I was deceived by love
I never had much luck with lovers before

And I couldn't compete
I seemed just part of the street
To be walked on by everyone but then

Then, I found a very special love in you
It's a feeling that's so totally new
Over and over, it's burning inside
And I found a very special love in you
And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I'm never gonna let go

You're not like the rest
I know you're one of the best
You give more than you should and take nothing in return

Stay always with me
And I always will be
The one person that you can count on always to love you

And I found a very special love in you
It's a feeling that's so totally new
Over and over, it's burning inside
And I found a very special love in you
And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I'm never gonna let go

And I found a very special love in you
It's a feeling that's so totally new
Over and over, it's burning inside
I found a very special love in you
And it almost breaks me in two
Squeezing me tighter
But I'm never gonna let go

(repeat and fade out)

----------------
I'm in love. HEHE

Great guy...so far. *peace*

I'm in love. HEHE

I'm so so so so so so in love. HIHI

I'm giggling! HAHA

I just woke up today and I realized that I love him more everyday.

I cannot wait till I'm with him again.

I'm soooo excited!

I miss him terribly.

I will be with him again and we will be happy!

Another Used To Be...

By Joe

[Verse 1]
I brought you here
so that i can express the things i've been thinkin bout
give me your ear
Cuz i don't normally do this so bear with me through this.
there are so many things
that i want to say
but let me start by saying this saying i thank you.
darling just because

[Chorus]
I used to love someone that i didn't like
we used to want to break up every other night
i used to think realationships were a lot of stress
i used to think that pain was a part of Happiness
now all that's changed since you've come my way,
but i don't want us to become
Another used to be.

[Verse 2]
I hope what i'm saying
don't discourage you in any kind of way
cuz i do believe that
you have The potential to be everything i need
i hope that you can really understand
that i would hate To be with someone new,
and tell them what i'm telling you.

[Chorus]


[Verse 3]
Cuz it would only be
another waste of time
and all the moment to be raised i would bout my Mind
another memory a part of history.
I cant forget cuz it keeps haunting me.
Now that your Here is evidently clear,
but i don't ever have to have this worry again again. ooohhhooooooo.

[Chorus x3]

---------
...And I don't want us to become...another used to be...

Forever remember?

I Want US, I Want YOU.

I want US to be invincible.
- The kind of love that says "No matter what..." The kind of bond that is unsinkable.


I want US to protect each other.
- But how? There are things that's beyond our control.


I want US to be happy.
- Even if we are far apart and we miss each other, I hope that we can be happy and content knowing that we are both working hard to be together again.


I want US to fall in love with each other over and over again.
- So the romance doesn't end, and that there is always room for love and forgiveness.

I want US to be forever...and ever...and ever.
- No happy endings, just happy forever...

Can't Face The Tides.

It's probably like seeing a ghost. I didn't see you but my mom did. We could only laugh at the realization that you (still) weren't man enough to face us. Or maybe you would never get the courage to. Of course knowing the things you did. A guilty soul. I feel bad for you in a way.

Don't worry, I still have some left over faith in you that you will change. People change. I did. And so will you. But I hope you get better, not sloppier. Face the music, my dear. Be man enough to stand up for the things you did, because even if you knew it was wrong to do them you still chose to do them.

Again, consequences. :)

100 Things I Want To Do Before I Die. (Update)

I was going to list it according to priority but it was just freakin' too hard! So it's random!

1. Have my own family.

2. Meet the pope.

3. Build and sponsor a church.

4. Open my own foundation that will help children and old people.

5. Get married at Chapel on the Hill, and then have my reception at Antonio's.

6. Learn to scuba dive.

7. Open my own restaurant and get a Michelin star!

8. Travel around the Philippines.

9. Send a child to school, other than my own.

10. Become an Executive Chef.

11. Train under a Michelin starred chef.

12. Meet Lea Salonga.

13. Send my parents on a nice vacation abroad.

14. Study another language.

15. Backpack in Europe.

16. Travel entirely by train. Amtrak here I come!!! HAHA

17. Go on a cruise. Caribbean, Mediterranean, Asian, all of em cruises!

18. Retire somewhere where there's sand and sea! Anvaya Cove and Hamilo?

19. Go to Boracay because everyone's been there except me!

20. Ride a rollercoaster.

21. Go on a memorable date. As in a melt your heart type of date, the kind you only see on movies.

22. Make out with a Greek hunk! HEHE

23. Fly first class!

24. Parasail!

25. Ride a hot air balloon.

26. Sing solo for a crowd.

27. Buy one of each : Porsche, BMW, Mercedes and an Audi.

28. Prepare gourmet food for the homeless.

29. Take the board exams.

30. Sit in front of a fireplace and cuddle with my boyfriend.

31. Teach. Although I'm not sure how I'm going to do it.

32. Contribute something to the culinary world.

33. Go to Egypt, Greece, Rome and be awed by their architectural history.

34. Vacation or have my honeymoon at Bora-bora.

35. Shop till I drop.

36. Buy a Nikon D80.

37. Make love with my hubby in a public place without getting caught. HAHA

38. Study photography.

39. Have an exhibit of my works.

40. Mentor an apprentice.

41. Watch a meteor shower.

42. Go out flying with my uncle.

43. Treat my dad on a date.

44. Sail with my uncle.

45. Hike up a mountain summit.

46. To be able to say that I loved someone greatly.

47. Learn yoga.

48. Become skinny! Fit into size 6, non stretch jeans.

49. Be the woman behind a sucessful man.

50. Travel alone.

51. Learn kabbalah.

52. Write a culinary/recipe book.

53. Build my own house, build not buy.

54. Compose my own picture book.

55. Buy all the kitchen utensil and equipment a culinary freak can need!

56. Participate in a nude photography session.

57. Eat at a michelin starred restaurant! (Fernando Pointe's and Bernard Loiseu's among them)

58. Go to Paris with my boyfriend/husband.

59. Dance in the rain.

60. Be totally disconnected for a whole day. No mobile phones or internet.

61. Teach History of Architecture.

62. Adopt two dogs every 3 years.

63. Learn to play a musical instrument.

64. Kiss Brian Littrell! HAHAHA

65. Own a starbucks and coffee bean and tea leaf branch!

66. Watch a "live show".

67. Buy my own theatre, think MTV Cribs home theatre.

68. Learn to play tennis.

69. Go on a Luzon roadtrip! Because it's the easiest island for a roadtrip!

70. Swim with the butandings.

71. Pet a dolphin.

72. Cook for royalty.

73. Make sure my family will never have to eat in a fast food.

73. Go to a nude beach.

74. Treat my mom and my dad to a shopping spree.

75. Treat my mom to a cosmetic surgery, she's always talking about getting a facelift.

76. Watch a space craft launch.

77. Go to Disneyland!

78. Ride a calesa.

79. Ride a vinta!

80. Share an apartment with Kevin and Manel.

81. Be happy and content.

82. Camp on an island.

83. Go to church every single sunday of an entire year.

84. Learn to surf.

85. Love without fear.

86. Celebrate my birthday in an orphanage.

87. Join volunteer work.

88. Take a Holy Land Pilgrimage.

89. Party in Ibiza, Spain.

90. Get a tattoo.

91. Be part of a musical play.

92. Run for office! HAHA

93. Be able to enjoy my life.

94. Buy really sexy underwear. Victoria Secret sexy! HAHA

95. Read all of Paulo Coelho's books.

96. Have my lasik surgery.

97. Go to a volcano crate.

98. Be in a lifestyle show.

99. Shoplift. I just want to know how it feels.

100. Ski on the Swiss slopes.

Whew...that's alot! :)

Clueless.

For what seemed like the nth time. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO FUCKIN' DO WITH MY FUCKIN' LIFE! ARGH! All I know is...

- I need a job. Savings are running low, can't keep spending and not earning.

- I need to go back to the US, because I want to be with him.

- I want to get more experience on my chosen career. But it seems that everytime a good oppurtunity to do it comes, matters of the heart interferes.

- I feel like I am being asked to choose again, between him and my career.

- I feel anxious about how the winter H2B applications are going to be like this time around.

What do I do?! Grrrrr.

Overrated Fears.

Fearless.

I don't know what its like being fearless. Maybe because I always have something to lose. For once, I want to be able to do things I want to do and not fear anything.

I don't want to fear failure.

I don't want to fear losing someone I love dearly.

I don't want to fear not knowing what's in store for me.

I don't want to fear not having anyone to go back to.

I don't want to fear the feeling that to gain something is lose something else.

I don't want to fear falling, helplessly in love with someone because I don't want to get hurt.

Fearless. I want to be fearless.

A Break On Love.

It's been three weeks since I got here, I have sent out numerous resumes to every 5 star hotel in the city, every fine dining restaurant in the metro and still nothing. Arrgggh. So frustrating! And top it all off with friends trying to break my spirits that I'm going back to the US in a few months. Ugh.

What have I done?! Damn! Damn! Damn!

Missing You.

Have you ever heard someone say "I miss you so much, it hurts."? Do you know why they say this? Because it literally happens. It's not just some cheesy smooth-talker line, although I will not guarantee that it has not been used and over used by some people. It really does happen. Do you know how it feels?

It starts off as a feeling of longing to be with that person. Then a sudden wave of tightness or tension engulfs you from your head down to your chest. At times it would start from my nose. And then it sort of washes away. And when you think about that person again, it happens all over again.

It's not a funny feeling. It's like you are holding back the urge to cry. And then when you can't anymore, you just find tears brimming from your eyes.

"There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you!"

I miss you...terribly.

Oh, Love!

I am talking to my bestfriend in whole wide world, Antonette. And our topic of the day is *drumroll* LOVE.

Unconditional love, sometimes when I talk to her about love I feel like I haven't really loved anyone. And then I start to think about the things I did for previous relationships? Isn't that not love? The desire I had back then when I was still so blinded by love, to work things out inspite of the things that happened. But she told me that she believes in a way that all the people in our lives (friends and ex-partners) we loved. Boy, I was relieved.

You see, I take those experiences and I consider them like a stepping stone to the big one. If a relationship fails, as hard as it is for me to let go of it initially. When I come to realizations, I always find that the relationship taught me something that will possibly help me when my prince finally finds me! So in away it's learning process to perfecting the art of loving the one God has prepared for you.

Do I make sense? I guess the hard part is retaining the lessons, sometimes we become so overcome by our emotions that we forget to go back to the things we learned. Like what the alchemist said right? About the soul of the world? About the tests, and about how it's not because it is evil, but because it wants you to master the lessons it taught you so you can achieve your personal legend.

:)

Slip Of Tongue.

I called him...Bubu. To clarify things, Bubu is a special endearment for my boyfriend. It doesn't matter to me if I called my ex bubu. I always want to call my present boyfriend bubu. I only called several people bubu. Two of them, because it kinda bothers my present SO, if I called him such.

I guess to me Bubu = Love.

(If you still bother reading this, I am no longer refering to you. If you know what I mean.)

It is not really who I called bubu, it's what it means to me, I guess. Hay. So, inner monologues. You know the drill.

Christmas Wishlist 2008

HA! It's that time of the year. Lemme see. At least, I was able to get/buy some of the things I wanted from the previous years. So to start off...in the order of the odds I'd actually get them. Again.

1. Rey. :P
2. One way ticket to LAX, for tomorrow. HAHA
3. A job, again. HAHA
4. A new visa! HAHA
5. A Mazdaspeed 3 Hatchback.
6. Plane tickets for two to Bora Bora!
7. A Mac Book Pro.
8. An iPhone.
9. AF Nikkor 14mm f/2.8D ED
10. Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Culinary Encyclopedia and Grand Livre de Cuisine Alain Ducasse's Desserts and Pastries.

I actually already have the books I wanted last time. And I didn't buy a Sony Alpha, instead a Nikon D90 double kit lenses. I didn't realize that I didnt have a wish list for last year! HAHA Oh well. That's it for the year. HAHA I dont have to get them all at once but it doesn't mean I wouldn't be elated if I did! HAHA I'd be happy with 1-4! HAHA Because I need all 2-3 to get 1. HAHA

EX-Hunt.

I never really hated any of my exes. I'm actually friends with some of them, whether it had been a serious one or not. But I really dont get why some exes can't just back off when they need to. It doesn't really bother me that my boyfriend is friends with his exes. I mean I am so I dont see why he can't be.

I've had some bad history with some ex's ex. And I guess I just became wary. But I just want to be assured that everything was clear between them. It was over and done with, and I am with someone else now.

I don't know if this girl, just didn't get. Or hasn't moved on yet. Or in some neurotic parallel universe she is still hoping that after everything that has happened between them, they will get back together or something. Or maybe it wasn't really that crystal clear to her. That he didn't make it like that at all.

Ewan. What a way to remember the first month. Blech.

(I know, just some left over inner monologues.)

Reading Old Entries.

It's just a bad habit. Sort of. I have this thing where I like to read old entries. Much like I used to read old journal volumes. I remember that my last journal, full of things written to or for my ex-boyfriend, used to bring me such bad memories and tears that I gave the notebook to that ex and promised to get it when I'm ready to read it again. When I took it back and read it, I didn't laugh like I expected to, instead I still felt that odd tinge of pain.

I have since stopped writing on notebooks and turned to blogging. So I had been reading my old entries and I was snickering. HAHA It's weird. Life is weird. It has odd suprises at odd times and sometimes you just don't know what to make of it. But I hope that it works out in the end.

They always say that God always makes happy endings, if it's not a happy then it's not yet the end. But you see I am happy right now, very happy. But it's not full circle yet. So I hope that it's not the end yet.

Full Moon.

It's almost here!

I am so excited!

Happiness!

...

I realized something when I woke up this morning that kept me staring at my ceiling for awhile. I realized that even though I've been through some painful things, it's amazing how I still found it in me to love someone again, as much as I love him. Maybe even more than I have ever loved anybody.

This is it for me. I am giving this the best I've got. I can tell, this is my great love. :)

Top Of The World.

Have you ever felt like you hit the jackpot? Well, I feel like I did. Well, fine not really because we are so far apart but just having him in my life feels like I hit the jackpot. I honestly have never been any happier and at peace than this. No fears, no doubts, no hesitations. Just being able to embrace it all, without even asking what it is, not even fighting any feelings.

Is it silly to say that maybe my prince has found me at last? That maybe I made a mistake and finally he's here? :) Again, it depends it's all up to me. And him. But for now, I don't care who he might be or might be not, whether he is my prince or not. What matters is I am the luckiest girl alive to have him in my life!

Bliss

Resurrecting...been awhile. :)
---------------------------
Your touch is electric
I felt it the first time you held me
The way we connected
So easily

I've tried to define it
Searched for the perfect phrase
I've tried to describe it
In a million different ways

(chorus)
It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny
And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel
There's only one word for this

I've got to admit it
You took my heart by surprise
Don't know how you did it
But baby, I've never felt so alive

(chorus)
It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny
And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel
There's only one word for this
It's bliss

Hey, you know, baby, know what the future holds
As long as you're here with me

(chorus)
It's joy, it's ecstasy, it's truth, it's destiny
And even love is not enough to tell you how you make me feel
It's faith, it's honesty, it's life, it's everything
To say "I love you"'s not enough to tell you how you make me feel

It's in your smile, in your kiss
It's the reason that I exist
There's only one word for this
It's bliss

It's bliss

It's bliss

***Truthfully, gloriously, it is bliss. *sigh*

Like A Freakin Broken Record.

I dont effin' know what the hell I'm doing here!!!

ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!

I am so pissed at the fact that the reason I came home wasn't worth it. When I can be back where I am happy, back with someone I really want to be with right now! Grr.

I know, I said and they (my friends) said that I should just charge it to experience. But it seems everyday I am here is another day of being bitch slapped with the truth that I should have made wiser decisions. I should've listened to my gut. I should've turned my back a long time ago. I should've done a lot of things I didn't do.

F*ck you.

Random Kicks...

Missed sunsets...
bursts of laughter...
tranquil drive...
clasped hands...
fingers entwined...

Smiling eyes...
quiet sighs...
peaceful hearts one...
head on shoulder...

One wish...
one dream...
a reality to face...
with faith...
with hope...
with love...

This Is It...For You.

It's Over
Jesse Mccartney

We've run out of words we've run out of time
We've run out of reasons really why we together
We both know it's over baby bottom line
It's best we don't even talk at all

Don't call me even if I should cross your mind
Hard enough I don't need to hear your voice on my messages
Let's just call it quits it's probably better
So if I'm not returning your calls it's 'cause

'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone but baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed

'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryn to erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over

I still wake up every morning quarter to ten
I still eat my cereal right at the kitchen table
I can't even remember how long it's been
No trouble stayin' occupied

Oh they ask about you whenever I come around
I do what I can not to put my business in the streets
Last thing I need's another episode
Keep conversation short and sweet because

'Cause I'm not comin' back I'm closing the door
I used to be trippin' over missin' you but I'm not anymore
I got the picture phone baby your picture's gone
Couldn't stand to see your smile every time you dialed

'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause baby it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over

You know that it's over when the burnin'
And the yearnin' inside your heart ain't there anymore
And you know that you're through when she don't do to you
And move you like the way she moved ya before

And you wanna pull her close
But your heart has froze
You kiss her but her eyes don't close
Then she goes out of your heart forever
And it hurts you but you know that it's better

Girl you know it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over
'Cause it's over
Girl you know it's over this time
So when you call I'm pressin' seven
Don't wanna hear your messages messages
I'm tryna erase you from my mind
'Cause it's over
I swear girl it's over this time
So don't keep callin' leavin' messages
Don't wanna know where you been
Baby 'cause it's over
-----------
Consequences of actions and words that weren't thought through. I loved you, with all my heart, with all I had, with all I am. But a heart can only take so much. And when a person continually neglects and hurts you there just comes to a point that you need to learn to love yourself all over again. Save yourself from more pain and heartbreak. This is when you just learn to let go, even with the greatest loves, if it is not treated fairly and justly, it wastes away.