Friday, January 15, 2010

Hopeless Romantic.

I love romantic comedy movies. You know, boy meets girl, they fall in love, they have fun and then something happens, they hurt each other but in the end love prevails -- they kiss and the screen pans out. Yup. I'm a sucker for those movies. Even if I already know how it will end, I still watch them. With each ending, I hope my own love story will be something like it. Thing is, what happens when the screen pans out? Do they just end up gazing at each other's eyes lovingly? Do they just kiss and kiss and kiss nonstop? See, the screen doesn't pan out to the credits in real life. It just keeps going.

It's been three years since I "met" my Prince. Three years since I started writing him. Three years since I started believing that there was one person, who will love me for who I am. And I will love him back as much as he loves me. In those three years, I was with two guys. One who had me convinced he was the prince but he turned out to be an ass. And I am now with another guy, who could be him. I really want him to be.

My Prince who has inspired me in so many ways. Who has made me feel loved even when I didn't know him then. He made me believe that there is love. And I didn't need another person to love me right then and there. I just needed to know that I will be loved when he finally comes.

Sometimes, I think I should already let go of my Prince and just live. Stop looking for him in the guys I am with. After all it is a known fact that most guys are princes in the beginning but monsters at the end. Well, okay not all of them. Some of them don't, not monsters not really. But not exactly a prince too.

Prince, is the result of my wild imagination. It was fun while it lasted, but I cannot live my life around fairy tales. In real life, even when we love someone we hurt that person we love. In real life the ending isn't as happy, because when life ends it means someone gets left behind. In real life, the pain doesn't stop after we kiss and make up, because there will be other pains that will follow, because for as long as we live we will keep on making mistakes and those mistakes will hurt someone, somehow.

So, right now...I just want to live.

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