Here's, What's For Valentine's Day.

Questions, pondering, endless...random...again, endless...

I check out your profile, and I see endless comments here and there, something pops out and makes my heart ache. Like a stab. A pang of pain, something physical I can't explain.

What do I do now? Now that things weren't as clear, as say some 6 months ago? I can't believe I would ever feel this way towards you. YOU, I didn't expect to feel this way towards you. You were the only thing/person that was constant for me...until now.

But you don't care do you. You say you're sorry but I don't even feel a hint of sympathy in your voice. It's like you're saying it just so I would feel better.

Why do I still love you? If I was in a better state of mind and heart, I would've just left. But I can't. I won't. I just wont give it up even if it's already killing me.

I hate you for hurting me this way. And I hate myself for letting you.

I was watching Le Divorce the other day and Roxy said "...I didn't realize that when you really love...there's no freedom at all. Except to die." It's true.

I just want this to be over and done with. I want to give my heart a rest. It's been so battered and broken. It has to rest. It has to heal. Being with you healed me, for awhile, but then you broke me all over again.

Happy Venereal disease Day! :P