I just want to be happy.

No matter how hard I tried to be contented of what I have in my life in order to be happy I just cant seem to get out of the rut I am in. I know this has something to do with my ex-boyfriend.

Gawd, I loved him. Maybe I still do. But I dont want to be anymore it's been a couple of months since we broke up already. I miss him. Hard as it is to admit but I do. It sucks that I am stuck in this limbo and him...god know what the hell he is up to.

He has been keepin in touch a text message every now and then. I dont know what the hell he is up to and I have given up trying to understand what he wants with me. Maybe he just wants me to be miserable all the time. Maybe he enjoys seeing me unhappy.