Tears and the rain...

I felt like crying earlier. Thanks to the rain it made it even more conducive to melancholy. Sadness is slowly eating up my soul. And it makes it harder that I cannot lean onto the wall I have been leaning on to during my episodes the past months. Because he's also consummed by loneliness so he says.

I have been trying to get to him lately. Trying to get a glimpse of his soul. But I can't find it. My heart doesn't feel anything, hear anything, even the small prayers. Even the ones from his heart. But I can see him, staring off, his eyes so sad and when I ask he turns his head and tries to muster a smile.

I wonder what happens after...