Thursday, August 07, 2008

Indecent Proposal.

If you ever want something badly, let it go. If it comes back to you, then it's yours forever. If it doesn't, then it was never yours to begin with.
- Diana Murphy

He let me go. He let me go after my dreams. And in a couple of months, I'll be back home. To him, I hope. I really hope.

I thought we were invincible. But now I know that the things that people in love do to each other, they remember. And if they stay together, it's not because they forget. It's because they forgive.

- David Murphy

I think I got the courage to leave because I thought that he really meant it when he said that he wanted me to go after my dreams. And I had so much faith in us that we were going to make it. He said he's changed. And I believe that people change, when they want to. I had faith that people can change for love and for themselves.

In the past year, we've been through a lot. Our relationship has had the highest of highs and the lowest of the low. Just these past couple of months we hit the lowest I can imagine. But I want us to rise up admist all of these. I want to come home and see him again. And this time we'll talk about our plans, this time we will be more than lovers, we will be friends. We wont waste time staring into nothing but instead we'll spend time holding each other's hands, making wishes, painting our future with our dreams and talking.

Yes, it was silly to think that absolutely nothing can shake us, what we are and what we have. The things I felt for him were so strong, it swept me away to a different world. Our feelings felt so strong, and maybe you think I was assuming too much but I felt it in the way he looked at me, the way he would touch me and the way he would hold me in his arms. I wanted to believe that God gave me him and therefore everything will be beautiful. I forgot that I am still alive, and living is not complete without the uncertainties, pain, and adversity. I guess for the most part I am scared that the same thing that has happened to me before will happen to me yet again.

I hope that my love story is different this time. That the fairytale has ended such as that my Prince promised, but it doesn't mean that it won't be a happily ever after.

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