Hoping and trying not to hope.

Trying to shake off all hopes of hearing from him again. Weird. I know I asked for it but it's just that I had hoped for an answered prayer. Maybe my prayers dont go all the way up to heaven.

Are feelings really that fleeting, that one minute you feel so miserable after having lost someone because of your doing and then feeling like nothing happened the next minute?

I'm depressed and lost. I hate myelf for believing you. Maybe someone can just show me the way to be loved.