Tuesday, August 22, 2006

How to trust, how to love...again?

After getting hurt from a past relationship, how does one trust again? How does one person learn to open up to another again? With all the scars from your previous relationship visible and haunting you, how do you give yourself the chance to be happy again? When you have all of these doubts that this next person might hurt you the same way the last time did?

Who am I kidding?! My ex still hurt me, I doubt he knows it. And now all I see is the deception that lies within even if it's not there. And it's not helping that the guys I've been meeting has deception written all over their faces. The monster called doubt is eating me up.

This is the reason I hate men (guys, boys shmuck) right now. I hear words without meaning. They talk alot but dont do much. They sneak around thinking they wont hurt anyone, that no one will know. But something always tells me there is a catch. Something to stop me from even trying to get to know them better. And then after awhle it's all across my face. My intuition had been right. They are a bunch of good for nothings.

I am so screwed. At the rate I am going it's gonna take me forever to find someone to love. And someone to love me.

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