Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The inner struggle...

I've always pondered about life, my life. I always searched for something that I think I'm missing. I'd read books or magazine articles that taught me that it's okay to dream, that it's a choice to be happy, that being positive brings out the positive things in your life. Sadly, I am always at a loss of how to apply these things to myself.

Even if I shared these things to friends when they go through difficult things, and I appear to be someone whose full or wisdom and knowledge, the truth is I'm not. It's not that I'm faking it. No. It's just when I'm faced with my life's adversities instead of remembering the lessons I learned from reading or from previous experience I breakdown. I choose to be weak. I choose to be ignorant. I choose to lose.

I know I can be happy but I choose not to be. I know I can win and be the best but I choose mediocrity. I know life is simple, I can choose what I want to experience in my life but instead I choose to stay conflicted, lost and wallowing in misery that is not even existent.

I know what it's like to choose happiness. I've experienced unexplainable happiness just by choosing that it is what I want to experience in my life. I've lived out magic moments that I never thought I'd actually experience in my life. Why then am I settling for mediocrity if there's such that I KNOW I can experience and have?

Because...maybe it's human nature to be such. Because we refuse to consider that maybe, just maybe, that sort of life - a life that's light and free, is possible. We have all resigned ourselves to what society says that life is. It said that "Life is hard." When it's not, it's really not THAT hard. It's actually simpler than we think. Much much simpler than we think.

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