Victory.

And so. I have news I've been keeping for awhile just like the last time. And now I can say it. Im here at the Denver International Airport. I'm waiting for my flight to Durango, Colorado. I know it's far from Los Angeles, but I do not mind. I know that soon enough I will be with my Lovey again. AND WE WILL BE VERY HAPPY! HAHA I can't wait.

For awhile I have been so mad for getting stuck in the Philippines, because of very bad choices. But now, I am given another shot at playing the ball. I am given a chance to change my life and this time, make better decisions. I still have some remainders of the past bad decisions I made. Hopefully I will forgive myself for those things before I enter a new chapter in my life. If things go as planned.

I am excited to start over with my life. I know I have good things in store for me. For now, all I can say is that I am so tired. But I am very very happy to be here.

"...he's so wonderful, I realize that I had been terrible..." - Manel

Wow. As in WOW. I went out to see my friend Manel today and while we talked about our significant others she said these words and I realized that I felt the exact same thing! And I never, NEVER admitted to it until today. Yes, I am burning in hell with my pride. HAHA

Thing is, I never told Rey just how wonderful he is, until today. When the truth is, he is the most wonderful thing that happened to me. Even his sister agrees, he's the perfect boyfriend. :)

And the best thing is. He is MY boyfriend! As in MINE ONLY! HAHA Eat your heart out! :P

One More Chance.

Holy week. This is the time I usually spend envying other people who can go to the beach and lay around the sun and the sand, while I stay at home, try to pray and put my iPod on loop. HEHE And so, in a clear effort not to stay green with envy I just watch TV. Thank heavens for cable! Well, not really. I know. I know this is not a time to watch television and drown myself with my play list but I can only focus on praying and repenting for so many hours. And so I ended up indulging the cheesy in me and started watching Cinema One. And just my luck, it’s John Lloyd and Bea!!! And what a movie. One where I can sooo clearly relate to right now. Gah.

Synopsis:
Bea (Basia) and John Lloyd (Popoy) have been together for five years. They’re planning to get married. Basia and Popoy both work for the same construction firm where Basia is an Architect and Popoy is an Engineer. Basia broke up with Popoy because of how he was handling the relationship. She has started to feel like she lost a part of herself when they were together. She started to struggle in the relationship and eventually had to choose between the man she loves and between learning to love herself again. Of course he was devastated with her decision and was a wreck. After months of being separated Popoy returned to her scene (started to join barkada stuff again) appearing to have completely moved on. He also has a new girlfriend, a singer – but there’s something different about the “moved on” Popoy. Basia, of course, is still in love with him and broke up with him because she felt like she needed it. Popoy never really stopped loving her. The new girlfriend was the rebound. Poor girl. How does it end? Of course, Popoy just needed time to be alone and forget the pain Basia cost but in the end comes back for her, and I guess they lived happily ever after.

Where do I relate in this story? I’m the singer. HAHA. Well, it’s really not THAT funny. Whats the moral of this story? Stick to the iPod, steer clear of cheesy Pinoy love team films! GAH.

Missing Cape Cod.

It's Spring time in the USA. And it's going to be summer soon. I miss Cape Cod. I miss Nauset Beach. I miss walking there with a can of coke and a slice of pizza from Zia's. And I miss walking home and swingin by the Sundae School and indulging in a huge cup of Nauset Mud Pie Ice Cream. Oh that's life.

It'd be fun to share it with my Lovey too!!!

Exciting!

Well, my life is quite eventful. I have a lot going on. The most exciting part is that I have two standing job offers in the works. Really great opportunities, I am sooo torn. HAHA

Oh well.

9 Reasons People Cheat

by Rich Santos, Marie Claire, on Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:05am PDT

Maybe I'm not very attractive, so my options are limited. Maybe I'm too jaded to go for the cheating opportunities. Maybe I still have some mental wounds lingering from when my dad temporarily moved out because he had met another woman. Maybe I'm too afraid that I've reached my sin quotient and one more big sin will keep me out of heaven.

Cheating is not a caught in the moment thing if you are really into your significant other, you miss them when you are not with them, you don't look for a way to hurt or deceive them.

I am just now patching up a friendship with someone I was seeing while they had a boyfriend (that may make me a cheater). At different points she told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, that they were back together, and that he was boring and I was fun. It was total confusion.

I told her she wasn't being fair to herself, me, or him.

Finally, she said, "you just don't understand, there are things you don't know." Thing is she's been cheating on him for a couple of years with different guys, and he keeps taking her back.

So, are cheaters born cheaters, or do certain situations cause people to cheat? Probably a little bit of both. Here are some situations that make people cheat:

1. Bored
I'd say this is the most common reason that people cheat.It's tough to keep that edge throughout a relationship. Things start off grand and then level off and then you both realize that it's still real life. When you meet someone else, that inaugural excitement of a new relationship kicks back in.

2. Dependence
At first glance, cheating seems like independent behavior. It could be interpreted as doing what you want, when you want. But I would argue that cheating is a dependent behavior. A cheater is dependent because they are not strong enough to break up with their significant other in order to get with the new person.

3. Confusion
Sometimes life or a particular situation can get to you. When the perfect storm of confusion is going on in your head, you make mistakes.

4. Because They Let You
If any girl ever cheated on me, I'd break up with her immediately. Forgiving a cheater is putting up with it, and starts a vicious cycle. That person who cheated may lose respect for you and might continue to cheat-because they know they can get away with it, because you'll continue to take them back.

(Yes, I am guilty of "letting. HAHA)

5. Nurturing
If someone is mistreating you, then your first instinct is to get away from him or her. But sometimes it's not that simple-maybe you are raising kids together. If you feel trapped in a bad relationship, it's only natural that you will run to the open arms of a person who treats you well.

6. Revenge
This is quite simple- an eye for an eye. Cheat on them if they cheat on you. If they continuously hurt you or abuse you in some way, you do it to get them back.

(Guilty! HAHA)

7. Confirmation of Attractiveness
Sometimes when you're in a long relationship, or if your significant other is taking you for granted, you begin to wonder if you're still attractive. Perhaps, because you were out on the dating circuit, you felt more attractive when you were single. If you have an affair, you've proven that a new person can be attracted to you.

(For people who feel inferior? Or insecure?)

8. The Thrill
Some people just enjoy the thrill of cheating: running around secretly, risking getting caught, andcreating thrilling moments with a forbidden romance.

9. They Don't Consider It Cheating, Even Though You Might
Relationships have that grey area, usually right before you become exclusive. He thinks date #4 is when you're "together," and you think date #2 is when you're "together." If you haven't talked about exclusivity, someone may think they are well within their rights to see other people, even though the other person in the relationship may not.

I don't understand why people don't break up as soon as they have an urge to cheat. Is it natural to have temptation, or is temptation a sign that the relationship is losing its fire? What reasons would you add to this list, and do you disagree with any? If you've ever cheated, why did you do it? Could you forgive a cheater? If you are single, but seeing a person who is in a committed relationship, does that make you a cheater?

----
Could this be an explanation? HAHA

Awesome. (Random)

...that you choose to stay each time I ask you to go
.......that I pushed you away
..........that I hurt you
............sorry

...that you welcome me into your loving arms
......each and everytime
.........no matter what I did
............no matter what I said
...............no matter how hard I resisted

...that in the end all that we want is us
......to be together
.........to make each other happy
............to take care of each other

...it's blessing to have you in my life
......to love me and to love
.........to take care of me and to take care of
............to share my life with

We only have 10 more months to go, baby. And I cannot wait!

5th Moon!!!

Wow. It's been 5 months! And even if there were times when it was hard, I can still say that I am still smitten. Still very much in love. Still very happy!

And I cannot wait to start my life with him...soon. Real soon!

I love you so much, Christian Rey Guilles!

Brain Farts.

I should get confirmed real soon.

I wonder who will take care of our babies (when we are blessed with one) when we're both working.

I want to earn $1,000,000 in the next five years and put it in a CD.

Hmmfft.

Qualities Of My Prince.

--Because my friend, April pesters me, how I knew the Prince to be My Prince. HAHA I got this at some relationship quiz a while ago.

MUST HAVES:

INTELLECT (Bright and can share my understanding of the worls as well as enjoy discussing important issues.)

FAMILY LIFE (Commited to marriage, home and family.)

EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY (Able to have a stable life with someone else.)

FAMILY (Shares my desire to have or adopt children.)

PERSONAL HABITS (Maintains high standards of personal hygiene and other personal habits.)

PASSIONATE (Willing to explore our sexual *grins* desires with passion and understanding.)

COMMUNICATOR (Good at talking and listening. *I got more than what I asked for.*)

STRONG CHARACTER (Honest and strong enough to do the right thing.)

CHEMISTRY (Feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.)

AMBITION (Shares my desire to achieve high financial and/or career goals.)

CANT STANDS:

LYING (Someone who lies to anyone.)

CHEAP (Tightfisted as to be impractical.)

CHEATING (Takes advantage of people. *wink*)

UNDEPENDABLE (Fails to come through and unreliable.)

SELF-CENTERED (Main topic is himself. *I know someone.*)

INFIDELITY (Engages on sex outside a committed relationship.)

DENIAL (Unable to accept blame or see fault in their actions. *Guess who?!!*)

HYPOCRITES (Holds double standards. *Err...sorry*)

VANITY (Overly interested in their physical appearance. *If he takes longer to get out of the restroom more than you. Take hair loss pills, or buys Olay Total Effect, then I suggest you think long and hard about him. HAHA*)

FLIRTS (Constantly flirts with the opposite sex.)

--There you have it, April. Unfortunately I cannot find the quiz again. I would've wanted you to take it. HAHA

Amusement Break.

So, this girl messaged me the other day because she's going out again (because she was once one of "the other girls") with my ex. She just wanted to ask me if I thought he was gay.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. (Nakakatawa kayo!!! Super!)

On a more serious note, I think you people should leave me alone. :P

The greatest feeling in the world that I get is knowing that I have made my loved one happy.

And knowing how much the efforts had been appreciated.

I love you, Christian Rey Guilles! :)

I just realized that I am the same lover. It's just different intensity of feelings or how passionate I am about my partner. But I still do the same things, maybe more.

And also, I am still the same brat. Over and over and over again. Good thing my fiance is as patient as a mango tree. HAHA.

(I love you so much, Christian Rey Guilles!)

:)

If I Were A Boy/Girl

So I was listening to this song this morning and it was only this morning that I really listened to the R. Kelly part.

If you were a boy
then girl you'd understand
you need to stop listening to your friends
love, respect and trust your man

So I go to clubs with the guys and sometimes flirt with the girls
I should be able to roll out
as long as Im coming home to you
and give you the world

But you are not a boy,
so you dont have a clue (ey)
How I work and pay the bills
girl everything I do is for you

***YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! HAHA Any guy who agrees to this doesn't deserve a decent woman. Tsk.

So anyway...the next song was...

"Hate That I Love You"
(feat. Ne-Yo)

[Rihanna:]
As much as I love you
As much as I need you
And I can't stand you
Must everything you do make me wanna smile
Can I not like you for awhile? (No....)

[Ne-Yo:]
But you won't let me
You upset me girl
And then you kiss my lips
All of a sudden I forget (that I was upset)
Can't remember what you did

[Rihanna:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly what to do
So that I can't stay mad at you
For too long that's wrong

[Ne-Yo:]
But I hate it...
You know exactly how to touch
So that I don't want to fuss.. and fight no more
Said I despise that I adore you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate how much I love you boy (yeah...)
I can't stand how much I need you (I need you...)
And I hate how much I love you boy (oh whoa..)
But I just can't let you go
And I hate that I love you so (oooh..)

[Ne-Yo:]
You completely know the power that you have
The only one makes me laugh

[Rihanna:]
Said it's not fair
How you take advantage of the fact
That I... love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain't right

[Ne-Yo:]
And I hate how much I love you girl
I can't stand how much I need you (yeah..)
And I hate how much I love you girl
But I just can't let you go
But I hate that I love you so

[Both:]
One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me...

[Ne-Yo:]
Yeaahhh... Oohh...

[Rihanna:]
As much I love you (as much as I need you)
As much as I need you (oooh..)
As much I love you (oh..)
As much as I need you

[Rihanna:]
And I hate that I love you so
And I hate how much I love you boy
I can't stand how much I need you (can't stand how much I need you)
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can't let you go (but I just can't let you go no..)
And I hate that I love you so

And I hate that I love you so.. so...

***And I just realized that this is exactly how Rey makes me feel. HAHA But, I love him and that's that.

Separation anxiety is a psychological condition in which an individual has excessive anxiety regarding separation from home or from people to whom the individual has a strong emotional attachment (like a father and mother).

Background:
Present in all age groups, adult separation anxiety disorder (affecting roughly 7% of adults) is more common than childhood separation anxiety disorder (affecting approximately 4% of children). Separation anxiety disorder is often characterized by some of the following symptoms:
- Recurring distress when separated from the subject of attachment (such as significant other, the father or the mother, or home)
- Persistent, excessive worrying about losing the subject of attachment
- Persistent, excessive worrying that some event will lead to separation from a major attachment
- Excessive fear about being alone without subject of attachment
- Persistent reluctance or refusal to go to sleep without being near a major attachment figure, like a significant other or mother
- Recurrent nightmares about separation.

Enough.

"What you have is enough. What you can do is enough.

Right now you have enough time, energy, knowledge, skills and resources to point your life in any direction. Once you begin the journey, as you need more, you'll find ways to bring it about.

It's silly to wish for more when you could instead be making full use of what you have. Put your energy into creating the life you choose to live.

Allow your inner self to be exactly where you would most like to be. And the rest of you will soon be there too.

An endless abundance is yours if you simply choose to accept it. Fully accept what already is, and suddenly you have it all.

Instead of wishing for more, bring to life the very best of the dreams that are already yours. Know that you already are enough, and discover just how magnificent it is." - Ralph Marston

"One day someone will walk into your life and you will realize why it never worked out with anyone else." - Unknown

"Minahal ko sha (friend referring to ex) pero one day I will meet the person who will show me what real love is. Na hindi pa pala love yun (referring to ex.)" - Friend

Have you ever told anyone that you loved them with all your heart? I have. Have you ever told anyone that you've never felt so strongly for anyone but them? I have. How come when I met him everything changed? It felt like I was rediscovering what it meant to love someone? To feel for someone? It felt like, all those other times didn't matter. All that mattered is this, what I have now. If that's the case does it mean that you didn't really love the previous ones? Does it mean you lied?

Why am I asking all of this? ...because I never wanna say those words again to anyone else.

I want what I have now. I've never been happier. Like what he always says...I am happy. I am content. I am satisfied. I am in love. I am loved.

Pre V-Day Drama.

I'm slowly getting engulfed in some melancholic cloud, brought about by some reasons I am not yet aware of...but I have several guesses:

1. Valentine's Day is coming up. And we're thousands of miles apart.
2. PMS. Although it's too early.
3. I miss him.
4. Low sugar intake. HAHA
5. I just need a time-out. Some time alone.
6. I just realized what a bad friend I've been.
7. Looking for a dress I can't seem to find at the price I wanna buy it for. HAHA
8. Gaining weight.
9. Stressed out.
10. I want to go abroad again. I'm sick of Pinas. (Sorry peeps. If my baby ain't here, then I should'nt be here either.)

HAHAHAHAHA. Random

Hindi naman mashado obvious that you guys are reading MY blog. HAHA It's alright. I don't really care much. It's just amusing.

So, moving on. I finally got my teddy back. Thanks to my ex's mom. It's nice how we've remained friends thru all the mess. Then again, I am also friends with my other ex's mom. And I made quite a good rapport with my fiance's mom, so I guess that concludes I'm quite good with moms. HAHA

Restaurant is going to be running soon, we're so busy preparing everything. I'm excited! :)

I'm missing my besty, Tonet. Some other friends like Ella, Gelo (he still owes me photo sessions), and starting to miss my girls.

I have a new project. To chronicle my life on still pictures. I just think I should have at least one photo of me each month. Oh well. Like I have the time.

Browsing my folder of Bubu's stuff. Our stuff. I should really start putting some things down for the wedding. I have the dress design I want, the entourage needs more tweaking (got a lot to do with his side though), need to get confirmed. Blah blah.

Need to continue losing weight. HEHE The no starch diet is not working out because of company meals, but I'll do something about it soon.

I need to go to Nickoy's (yes, I am perfectly aware of the conditions imposed), to copy songs off of her pc and see the baby.

I miss my beautiful niece!!! I posted a picture of her on my multiply site. I want my own little Rey...Reys. HEHE

Getting more sleep but really missing my Bubu. He's coming back soon though! :D

Fourth month is coming up. It's really near V-Day, super baduy. HAHA

I want to make yema, probably tomorrow. Yema tarts! Damn, I forgot to print out my research on yema at work. Grrr. Oh but I have a visitor tomorrow so, scratch that.

I want an iPhone!!! *please give*

Tired. Zzzzz.

My Wildest Laugh Of The Day.

My Bubu will be pissed at me if he found out but I was just testing if my article will appear on google. It didn't. But I found something else that made me laugh so hard, I made the whole office read it. HAHA

Pathetic.