Friday, June 15, 2007


Lately, I've been reading a book titled "BE" by A.C Ping. I'm picking up a lot of things from it, but the problem is I don't quite know how to apply to my everyday life. Take for example what happened the last couple of days, how do you stop reacting to that?

When I opened my friendster page, I saw that my boyfriend has updated his profile 2 days ago. Naturally as I always do I clicked on his profile to see what was new. To my surprise he's changed his status from in a relationship to single. And even before I can start telling myself that it was just a profile, I had already started feeling a pang of pain in my heart. I started resenting him for a lot of things that I have kept from him, things that had me feeling bad about myself as his girlfriend.

And while reading the book, I came across a chapter that talked about not falling prey to these sort of reactions. They leave you distressed, bothered and miserable. And truthfully, the last couple of days, I have not spoken properly to him. I was miserable, I cried every night until I fell asleep, and I thought about all sorts of nasty things he can be doing behind my back, without any proof that he was actually doing anything.

So how exactly do you stop reacting to these things, where your heart is already being stirred before your brain can even start analyzing and rationalizing the situation? And I wondered how the author learned to do all of the things he's written in the book, what sort of experiences did he go through to achieve that much wisdom?

I wish I can be like that. I wish I had that much power. Not to be a slave to my emotions. Not to cling so much to something or someone, because these things aren't permanent. To act on my vision, to act on my passions, to stand up to my values and principles. I'd like to believe that I could...BE.

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