Forgive and Forget.
I commented on my friend's blog about her still bothering to talk to her ex.
And she replied "HAHAHA. nah, i dont want to burn bridges kasi. why? coz 1, you dont know when you'll need these people (hehe).. and 2, if God can forgive all types of sinners, then who are we not to? di ba? but that's just how i think these days. "
Hmmm...so I thought. Is the reason why I refuse to talk to my ex, Donald, is because I haven't forgiven him for all the things that happened between us?
Gahd, that was exactly a year and a day ago from today. I admit it took me awhile to actually get a hold of myself. I realized I have long gotten over the heartbreak but blinded myself from the lessons and endless realizations that I saw after I told myself that, that was it. It's time to come off the trashy vibe and concentrate on myself, my dreams, my goals and not let anything stand in my way of achieving them.
I am happy now, contented with what I have achieved and have so far, and I'm going to make myelf a better and successful person that I can be. Relationship wise, I have had some of those what you might call minor inconveniences and I have long since gotten my act together.
So, have I forgiven Donald? Am I ready to forget it?
Answer? *pauses to look at the deepest recesses of my heart and soul*
Yes. I have forgiven him. I have forgotten the pain and I have learned from that experience.
It is only because I couldn't trust him anymore and I lost respect for him, and its the reason why I don't want to bother talking to him or establishing ties. I mean really how do you trust someone whose lied to you so many times? He's just like my ex-friend Nicee. They belong to the same category now, the learn from these people, ignore them and forget you were even friends with them category.
Sorry. It's just me.
4 comments:
im not talking to him now, and i honestly dont want to have anything to do with him anymore either. pero maybe im just like this because a part of me still cares. when the time comes that i dont care anymore, it wouldnt be so bad talking to him again or seeing him again coz by that time i am indifferent na.
i'm not contented with my present state, carreer-wise. i havent been studying lately. ive been thinking too much, and wandering off to dreamland. oh well. but im slowly finding that internal peace.
hey dearie. the 1st part looked pretty familiar to me. haha.
nah. seriously now.
here's the thing with mike. i guess i have forgiven him. and i have acknowledged the fact that he isnt totally to be blamed for what happened. i had my own share of the blame so i thought to myself, who am i not to forgive him? and yeah, he hurt me. and i would be a complete hypocrite to tell you that i dont feel anything anymore when i think of the past. BUT i thought to myself, what would i do with the negative feelings? will these feelings undo the past? no eh. so it's useless to harbor any negative feelings towards anyone.
and know what? it is easier to forgive than to actually forget. we can forgive those who hurt us in the past BUT it will take some time to actually forget the pain.
but the thing with me and mike kasi, he is just another person from my past. i just feel indifferent towards him. i dont feel anything anymore that's why i can talk to him and be guarded. i know no matter how much he flirts with me, i know i wont succumb to the temptation because i know where i stand now.
he doesnt deserve me. i deserve someone better.
and same goes to you dear... you deserve better.
it's not about getting back at that person and having the final laugh. it's about finding that peace in your heart - and i do think that this can be achieved if you've let go of past hurts.
and im not saying you havent. and i know youre not harboring any ill feelings towards him. i do believe you when you said youre done with him. and for that, im happy for you. it has been a year, and it is about time we let go of them.
just be thankful that you've met him.. coz you wont be the same rica today if you havent. =) we should never regret meeting or knowing anyone coz people come in and out of our lives for a reason. =)
oh my. i realized i somewhat contradicted myself in my previous comment.
ok. what i was trying to say was this - i still feel bad when i think of his ACTIONS BUT i dont feel anything for him anymore.
i cannot forget his actions. but i've grown to be indifferent to him.
hope that's clearer. hahaha.
Manny: Hey you dont have to force yourself to be nice to him. Just deal with it one day at a time. In time all of those feelngs will go a way and you will realize that you have forgiven him. And have forgiven yourself.
I think that the first step to healing is to forgive yourself for allowing these people top hurt you and for allowing yourself to be suscesptible to pain. It took me awhile to forgive myself and I can now say that I am free from the remorse and grudge that I felt the forst quarter of the year.
Ella: Yeah I dont regret not knowing him anymore. If not for him I wont be the person that I am today. Still it's not enough for him to earn my respect and trust. HAHA
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