Monday, April 02, 2007

This is not about you...it's about me...

Yes, I am doing the inner monologue. I can't help it. The bitch is just yapping and yapping. I'm practically deaf! Now that I'm in bed and waiting for sleep, I finally started thinking about what happened. There was that moment there when he just held me and we talked and he looked into my eyes and said things. I listened, it sounded painful. But I tried to dismiss the pain. It wasn't important. I told myself that this moment was mine. I had nothing to say after he said it I turned away. He peered at me and then said "April Fool's."

They say jokes are half meant. So maybe everything that he said will be true one day. I know I can't keep him. I don't own him. But I hope I will have more time. I guess it's easy for me to doubt someone, especially those I don't know much about. I guess it's a defense mechanism.

Myles once told me that unless I abandon all doubt of a person's sincerity then I cannot love that person. And I am aware of that. But this is not about him and how he feels. This is about me. This is about trusting what and how I feel. Because really, when you love someone sometimes that person wont reciprocate those feelings, and you just don't un-love him right? I do not love to loved back. I know I will be loved. I read somewhere

"Love is not about having to question how a person feels about you."
And it's true. Even my Prince has showed me that I didn't need him to be there for me to love him. I loved him even if I didn't know who he was.

Dammit I was trying to find an entry I had that had all the stuff that people tell me about love. I remembered I deleted it. HAHA. Oh well. I'm starting to rationalize again. Sorry, it's the inner monologue. Screw the inner monologue!

6 comments:

Giacomo Casanova said...

Letters from a Prince...

Hayyy...so kesong puti na naman. I'll rip a page off my Princess' reponse last time, "Don't go emo on me?!? Duhh!" hahaha

Do you really wanna box @ Elorde? You wanna kick my ass so badly huh?*bring it on!* Why not just a pillow fight??? *wink wink*

I think it's a good work-out for you. Start trimming those flabs and i'll make sure you'll be back in shape in no time. Don't argue. You can't talk you way out of this. Curves all over is not a shape. A coca-cola bottle shaped body is an art. hahahaha...

Do i hear a roaring sound somewhere??? *uh ohh...am i in trouble or what?* Meow.

On with the fun, what a great morning isn't it?

I miss you!

Francis

soulfoolchic said...

GRRRRRRRRRR. Never mind I'm gonna have Juddah Paolo teach me how to box. And I'm gonna buy a bag and put your picture on it precisely for these kinds of hirits.

Eh kung mag-firing nalang ako, siguro pag picture mo yung nakapost sa target...alpha shots lagi yun. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh yeah been wanting to box ever since but I don't have a boxing buddy. HAHAHA

Kaines panira ng moment.

Giacomo Casanova said...

Letters from a Prince...

Malamang! Alpha Shots nga yon! *Gulp*

You're so voilent...

Doc, Valium nga dyan please...

hahaha

soulfoolchic said...

I'm not that violent...sige I wont shoot you na...I just sharpened my filleting knife...I'm just going to fillet you. And the slice you as thin as when you slice parma ham.

Ugh. Lord, why? You have a very bad sense of humor. WAAAAAAAH.

Lord said...

Lord's response...

Hallerrr?! Ok ka lang? eh u ask for it. Wala nang bawian. Panindigan mo yan. R u accusing me for having a bad sense of humor? I'm so bored with your rantings...

Holy week na, pwedeng pahinga muna ako? Okei lang ba?

Spoiled Brat...

Pffft... Blech!

soulfoolchic said...

^OMG! So gay. HAHAHAHAHA