Sunday, March 11, 2007

I've always thought of you as a dream. You know the kind of dream that's really just a dream, more of like a fantasy. I've gotten myself into sticky situations trying to live that fantasy. And now, I realize that I finally have to stop chasing that fantasy. Instead, it will do me better to wait until you find me. I guess it is just God's way of preparing me for you. But now, I don't want to keep hurting myself trying to find you in people who come into my life only to make me realize that I am settling. When I can wait until you come for me. I want my heart to be whole for you. I don't want it battered and tired, when you find it. I want my heart to beat with vigor when you come.

I've already claimed to have loved someone several times in my life. I had made myself believe to have found you more than once in my life. But the fact remains that they don't even come close. You're the one who will show me what love really is. You will teach me what real love is about. Much like what you're doing now. You're already making me understand what love is.

That love doesn't have to be right here, right now, the two of us together. Love can be how I feel for you right now, in your absence. I love you. I am happy with just knowing that you're there. To love me and for me to love freely. I am happy with the thought that we may not be together now, but we will be someday.

I have faith, stronger than ever. I believe that destiny will lead us to each other. Serendipity is real after all. With you in my heart, I am slowly starting to let go of all the cynicism, skepticism and excess baggage that has prevented me from truly embracing and accepting this. I have stopped asking, analyzing and rationalizing everything around me. May it be about the people around me, these feelings in my heart or the thoughts in my head.

I have stopped asking my life's question: "Isn't there anybody who can love me?" Because I know you're there. I know you love me. In your absence ...I know.

Thank you. Smile. Be happy today.

2 comments:

Agent007 said...

Now that's pure love..

soulfoolchic said...

OMG!

While I was re-reading this I couldn't help but gasp in awe..."I wrote that?"

In Cinderella's song..."Someday my Prince will come..."